▶ Your Answer : There are many different types of communication, and each communication has its own advantages and disadvantages. I believe that face-to face communication is more exceptional than other types of communication. Let me explain why I think so. To begin with, people can communicate in person and get feedbacks on the spot. It means that people can save a lot of time becuase they do not need to wait for other's response. In fact, when there is a group project, if people want to get across something to other, these methods (앞에서 충분한 설명이 아직 나오지 않았습니다. 무슨 method인지 정확히 point out해주세요) are not effective ways. My example can be a applicable example of this. A few years ago, when I was in a university, I worked on a group project, which aimed for lifting my region's economy. This theme needs various opinions, so we decided to meet in person to exchange ideas instantly. By doing so, we were able to fix problems on our report and save much time to finish it. On the other hand, other groups tended to communicate on kakaotalk (이렇게 쓰기 보다는 전자 communication이라고 쓰는게 더 좋습니다) or e-mail. However, the problem was that it is nearly possible to get some feedbacks promptly and they spent a lot of time getting done their report. In the end, my group managed to get a good score. If we had not been chosen to face-to-face communication, we would not have successfully done our projects. On top of that, in face-to face communication, people can reduce risk of being misunderstood. In other words, although there are some misunderstanding, there would be a good chance that people can clear it up. My friend's case, named Minsu, is a suitable example of this. A few months ago, he argued with his girlfriend for some reasons, and he sent some messages to apologize to her. However, the problem was that in the message, there were misleading sentences. Eventually, they broke up and Minsu regretted resolving the argument by sending messages. Writing does not contain emotions or feelings of speaker. Rather than, by using face-to face communication, people can decrease conflicts between them by delivering real emotions and feelings. Of course, e-mail or letters do not need meet someone in person. However, face-to face communication makes people have feedbacks on the spot and get rid of some risks of being misunderstood. For these reasons, I think that face-to face communication is a better option.
주장 깔끔한 편이며, supporting detail도 이에 걸맞게 잘 작성되었습니다. 조금씩 문법이나 문장적인 오류가 보이는 편이긴 하나, proof reading열심히 반복적으로 하고, 어휘나 표현 공부 조금 더 하시면 해결 될 듯 합니다. 문장을 괜찮게 쓰시는 편이긴 하나, 더 잘, 그리고 더 clear하게 작성하시고 싶으시다면 뉴스나 책에서 쓰는 formal sentence많이 공부하시면 도움되실 듯 합니다. |