▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly,
homework plays a significant role in students’ daily lives in many of the
places where they work or play. Some people think that students should be given
homework on a daily basis (주제 문장 그대로 사용 지양해주세요; paraphrase해 주세요) while others do not. Both sides may have their own
reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that
students are allowed to not do should not do their homework every day.
To
begin with, giving freedom to students instead of asking them to do daily homework will help students cultivate important
qualities needed for success. With less homework, students can have enough time
to experience variety of things more than just studying. Students who have lots
of experiences can widen their perspective, obtain diverse knowledge and have
more possibility to succeed. (예시는 숙제를 한 그룹이 더욱 work performance 가 좋았으며 이는 창의력을 바탕으로 한다고 제시되어 있는데, 앞서 설명에서는 창의력에 대한 언급이 없습니다. 성공과 다양한 지식을 배제한 뒤 "자유 시간을 바탕으로 유연한 사고 구조를 형성하는 다양한 활동을 할 수 있다" 등 연관된 내용을 구체적으로 제시해주세요) For example, Tokyo University found a huge
difference between two groups of same company’s workers in the work performance.
One group consisted of those who had spent three hours to do assignments when
they are undergraduates, the other group was made up of those who had have less
than three assignments a week. The researcher found that the latter was more
likely to have higher work performance than the former. In particular, the
first group could finish simple duties. On the other hand, the second group did lots of tasks, even complex ones, using their own creativity. It implies that moderate homework is key to success. With daily lots of homework, one would
fall behind.
In
addition, daily hard homework with difficulty keeps students from having comfortable lives.
Students having lots of homework are too busy to relax and sleep. Without
enough rest time, there can be serious mental or physical health found among students. Let me bring
up my personal story as an example. (Let 등 구어체 사용은 TOEFL에세이 에서는지양해주세요) For instance, my sister’s high school teacher gave his students
lots of homework every day. His students could not pay attention during the class
because they stayed up late at night for doing homework. However, the students changed
little by little after having less homework. They could focus the class and get
a better results on the grade. Their teacher realized the negative effect of
lots of homework to his students. Naturally, adequate quantities of homework started to create and maintain good results of students. If students had too much homework continuously,
they would fall behind.
All
things considered, I strongly believe that too much homework can have negative effects on students. (본인의 이유 2 가지 제시된 내용 요약하여 conclusion에도 작성) All in all, the importance of adequate quantities of homework
cannot be overestimated in the pursuit of happiness of life.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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FAIR
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FAIR
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GOOD
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GOOD
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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- 통계는 과거 자료이므로 시제 사용 주의해주세요. - 기타 문장에서도 발견되는 이슈; 현재 주장하는 내용에 있어서는 동사를 현재형을 쓸 수 있어야 합니다.
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