▶ Your Answer : Undoubtedly, television and books play a significant role in people's daily lives in many of the places where they work or play. Some people think that books have influenced society more than television has, while others do not. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that television has a greater impact on society than books. There are several reasons as follows. (TEMPLATE)
To begin with, television has improved the standard of living. The invention of television has provided more fields of businesses, more job positions and higher average household incomes. For example, in the 1970s, with the spread of television, the Japanese government began to pour billions of dollars into the television industry. Eventually, this investment was able to help Japan to decrease poverty rate as well as unemployment rate. The most contributing factor was that the new job sectors created more people opportunities to work and to earn income for their household. In other words, people with little or no income emerged as the new middle class, which played a significant role in promoting the overall GDP. This trend saved people from poverty, ultimately contributing to the overall national economic growth. This implies that employment within these business sectors has brought prosperity to people. Without the invention of television, the economy would have been worse off.
- 경제성장에 대한 general한 설명이 주입니다. 현 argument의 경우 TV가 어떻게 삶의 질을 발전시켰는지 TV의 기여도를 중심으로 설명할 수 있어야 합니다. (구체적으로 TV프로그램 및 영화산업이 어떻게 증가하여 현재 어떤 이윤을 창출하는지 등)
In addition, watching television enables students to improve their academic performances. Television programs contain visual images and sounds that books do not have. This tends to attract more students, and it is more likely to bring a better result in school. For instance, my older sister did poorly in her high school. She got distracted easily, procrastinated, and acted on impulse. However, she has changed little by little after she started to watch television programs that are educational, such as academic lectures and National Geography. Naturally, she started to maintain a good behavior by raising her grades in school, showing characteristics of a longer attention span, a stronger passion in her tasks, and a better ability to delay gratification. Without watching television, she would have fallen behind.
All things considered, I strongly believe that the impact of TV has far outweighed that of books for the reasons I have mentioned above. In conclusion, the importance of TV cannot be overestimated in the pursuit of happiness in life.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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GOOD
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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