Some
people may argue that not telling the truth is far better than telling it
honestly. In this case, I strongly disagree with this statement for two reasons. (assertion, there are two reasons for
which I firmly disagree this viewpoint.) One of my reasons is that not telling
the truth actually harms relationships by hiding something and it will cause more and bigger
problems later. (people
by covering up something and it must generate bigger problem in their lives.)
Another reason is that it helps individuals to become more confident. (self-esteem and be proud ourselves,
those are clearly the things that we have to own.) In this regard, I believe
that we have to agree with it
To begin with, it is clear that lying is the
most invaluable behavior in life. (can make people
who are lying notorious and disrespected.) Lies will damage relationships. (Not only they get damaged in their relationships, but
also even they can face the music in the end because of their improper behaviors
and words.) In other words, it does more harm than good. (What's more, there is
a great result supporting this idea.) A research (paper)
conducted by the Korea Institute of Economics (research)
shows (have shown) what the most successful business owners have in common; honesty. They
tend to make more money by being honest and earning people’s trust. (90 percent of
most succesful busniess owner have a comm. on characteristic - honest, they
earn money and receive reputation by acting honest always.) It proves that being sincere is a key to success. (telling the truth in anytime is a wiser choice in our
lives.)
Secondly, I want to explain it by putting it differently. Not telling the truth
also brings problems to someone's relationships and financial situations. (In
other hand, so-called liar can feel disrespected and worsen their self-esttem
by their hand, this individual issue makes us to think about what is the likely
person. 이 부분은 전혀 무슨 내용인지 이해 가질 않네요.) For example, when I was twenty, I
lost my glasses and lied to father about it. When my father found out, he was angry at me. That moment, I
realized how bad lying to someone is. I learned my lesson
and since then I have tried to be honest all the time. (for myself, literally not telling the truth, but it was
finally known by father, then my father got angry with me and I realized that
lying is unvaluable behaviors. For now, I'm tring to keep its teeching in my
mind.)
To
sum up, I think that telling the truth is much more beneficial than not being honest. (the converse behaivor. Furthermore, people are
recommanded to act honestly in general. In other words, not telling the truth
isn't as useful as someone think.) For the reasons I mentioned above, I believe that it is always good to be
truthful. (assert that we
are likely to tell the truth whenever)
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Writing Score (0-30): 12-14
Score (0-5): 1.75-2.00
Grammar & Feedback: 전체적으로 문법적인 오류가
너무 많습니다. 또한 스펠링 실수도 너무 많아요. 스펠링
실수 같은 기본적인 실수는 꼭! 피하시길 바랍니다. 부정확한
표현과 문법적 오류로 인해 의미가 잘 전달되지 않았습니다. 또 주장의 타당성도 부족해 보입니다. 수고하셨어요.