▶ Your Answer :
In our current society, work efficiency is
one of the crucial factors in people’s daily lives in many the places where they
work or play. Some people think that working alone is more important than
before, while others do not. Both sides may have reasons to support their
ideas. On the other hand, if I had to choose one, I would say that the most
important thing in today’s society is working with others. There are several reasons
as follows.
To begin with, working in group plays a crucial
role in today’s competitive society, and it also allows people to work more efficiently.
Working with other people helps people to have motivations and passions on
their tasks. This trend has been likely to do encouraging people to work more efficiently and
accurately. For example, Seoul National University (SNU) found an enormous
difference between two groups of young adults in manufacture factory. One group
consisted of those who were work with their colleagues, and the other group was
made up of those who preferred to work alone. The researcher found that the
former was outperformed the latter by 20 percent. In particular, the first
group showed a higher accuracy in their results and completed faster than the latter
group. This implies that the group work cause the increase in productivity. Thus,
this trend tends to be more important than before.
On top of that, in order to solve the
nation’s problems such as social, environmental, and economical problems, people should cooperate
with others in rapidly changeding society. Since the variety of problems has been occurreding in
country, the individual cannot solve these problems on their own hands. Therefore,
Ppeople should work together by sharing their ideas and performing activities.
For instance, in Korea, Seoul had experienced the severe contamination of Han
River. The local congress could not solve this problem due to the lack of
budget. However, with the help of companies such as Samsung, LG, and Hyundai,
the river was recovered by planting trees, removing trash, and opening the
campaign. Nowadays, the river is one of the landmarks in Korea. This indicates
that cooperation is very important in these days for solving problems.
As I mentioned above, I believe that
cooperation is very important in many places from individual to nation. Working
with other people can improve the work productivity, and also can solve the
nation’s problems. All in all, this trends will continue and pass down to the
next generations.
[Score] 29-30 [Feedback] - 매우 잘 써진 글입니다. 문장의 흐름도 자연스럽고, 문법적 오류도 거의 없으며, 적절한 어휘 사용과 더불어 주장을 뒷받침하는 근거와 예시도 모두 좋습니다^^ |