▶ Your Answer :
There might be some people who believe that life has become more hard and difficult these days compared to when our grandparents were young. However, I personally disagree with the above idea for two subsequent reasons. First, it became possible to get information much faster than before. Second, the average life span of these days has become longer.
To begin with, it became a lot easier to get information much quickly than our grandparents' generation did. To be specific, the development of transportation and media enabled communications a lot easier than before. As a result, we are now able to get information much faster than before. For example, in our grandparents' generation, it was hard to get precise weather cast beforehand because there were no technology to measure it and deliver the news; there were no communication network among countries to exchange weather data. However, in modern times, it became possible to get accurate weather report in advance; you can also know the weather of other countries by simply searching it on the internet. This proves that getting information became a lot faster and easier than before.
Second, the overall incidence rate was decreased than before. This is due to the fact that the development of medicine made it possible to prevent diseases beforehand. and cure those diseases much more quickly. As a result, the average life span has become longer than our grandparents' generation. According to a survey done by Harvard, the overall incidence rate of cancer nowadays has decreased compared to that of 60 years ago. Moreover, it has been revealed that this decreased incidence rate of cancer led to overall increase in average life span. This supports the fact that life span in average has become longer. + 이로 인해 현대의 세대가 조부모 세대보다 더욱 편한 삶을 살고 있다는 점 또한 강조해주세요.
In conclusion, it became possible to get information much more easily, and became possible to be healthier nowadays than our grandparents' generation did. In this regard, I strongly believe that life is more easier and comfortable in modern times compared to when our grandparents were young.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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FAIR-GOOD
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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