Some people think that the environment will
not be able to recover in the future. All things considered, I am in complete
agreement with the statement and the basis of my opinion that there are too
less actions taken on improving the issue. The government is no longer strict to companies regarding the pollution for money, and this trend will not change in the
future, disabling the recovery of the damages caused to the environment.
To begin with, penalties for creating
pollution is not tough enough to efficiently stop the actions of polluting the
environment. International treaties have weak penalties on damaging the
environment, while the worst polluters do not usually participate in such acts.
For example, the Kyoto Protocol, a law passed by the Japanese government in
1997, was not able to successfully deal with the problem due to ineffective
measures taken. Also, the United States, which is one of the world’s most
polluting country, are reluctant in participating in such measures to reduce
pollution. This is because the government needs to spend a tremendous amount of
money to enforce such actions. (GOOD EXAMPLE)
Moreover, most companies which severely
damage the environment are reluctant to invest in environmentally friendly
technologies to produce their goods. As the investment needs huge sum of money,
companies would rather pay for the penalty than to reduce profits by adopting environmentally friendly systems since the
technology developed to be eco-friendly is also not economically advantageous.
Therefore, it is highly unlikely that businesses do such investments. One
example of such costly technologies is the solar power, a power source that is gained in a very
ineffective way. Also, the cost of the solar panels
needed for the power plant is extremely expensive. (+ 태양광 대신에 벌금을 내고 다른 석탄을 태우는 기업 예 등을 포함하여 설득력 있게 예시를 보충해주세요)
To sum up, the penalty given on pollution
is too small, and the companies will not try to reduce pollution. In this
regard, I maintain the opinion that the environment will not improve in the
future.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
|
FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
|
GOOD
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
|
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