▶ Your Answer :
It is controversial whether wWorkers are more satisfied when they have many different types of tasks to do during the workday or not. People of various ages and from different walks of life may take diverse positions on this controversial issue. Some people believe that a workplace in which people can do similar tasks during a day is much more satisfactory conditions for the workers. However, if we take a closer look at the issue, I can conclude that doing various kinds of work is much better to be satisfied with a person’s job.
To begin with, working in a workplace where we can do many different tasks has much more satisfaction satisfactory workplace because it helps them lay the foundation for their success. All the people have aspiration to be a successful person in their field. If he or she can have a great of competition ?, he would be satisfied with their job a lot. Also, by working in that environment, workers can acquire a lot great of abilities to become a bright mind in their field because they can have a lot of experience in their workplace. One of my uncles, KY, has become one of the most successful entrepreneurs because he had worked on an office which allowed him to do many different works. He was so enthusiastic with his work, so he did many different tasks and gained many different experience and information through his works. Finally, he could be a manager in his corporation and many other people respect him so much. Whenever he was asked the secret to become successful, he used to say that having a variety of experience in his workplace has made him become competant gain competition in his field. The same situation can apply to those who can do various kinds of tasks in their workplace.
Second, working in an environment where people cannot do different types of tasks can make them bored and it has a great negative effect on their work efficiency. People do not don’t have an ability to do same task for a long time because they just lose their attention on the work. On the other hand, if they work on diverse tasks alternatively, they can concentrate well on their tasks not losing his or her attention. A few weeks ago, I had a chance to read an article which was related to the topic. It described the result of a research which is conducted by Seoul National University. The researchers made two groups of people. Then, they let one of the groups to do a single task counting coffee beans on cups for a long time. On the other hand, the other group did various tasks such as not only counting coffee beans, but also writing down some of the sentences in a book. Then, the researcher investigated on the accuracy of counting by two groups. The result was that the accuracy was much higher in the second group than in the first. The researcher concluded that the difference in their accuracy is originated from the diversity of the task. This clearly proves that doing various tasks has more advantages than doing a single task.
As I mentioned above, based on an example and the result of the research, we can conclude that workers can get much more satisfied with doing many different types of tasks rather than doing a single task or similar tasks in an office all day long.
Good (24–30) 첫번째 본문 -have 동사는 ~을 가졌다는 뜻이므로 명사형을 가졌다는 것이 어울립니다. 따라서, satisfaction으로 바꿔주세요. -파란 부분 의미를 이해하기 어렵습니다. -a great of 없습니다. 그냥 great abilities나 a lot of abilities 로 바꿔주세요. -one of +복수 입니다. -문장 시제 맞게 동사 써주세요 -gain competition은 어색한 표현입니다. 경쟁력을 갖췄다는 바꾼대로 써주세요.
두번째 본문 -축약형 지양해주세요 don't-->do not 내용은 둘 다 괜찮습니다. 문법 실수 연습해주세요. 수고하셨습니다~
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