▶ Your Answer :
There might can be some people who disagree with my opinion, but I will not use plastic bags personally to improve the environment of my town for two reasons. First, plastic bags are very harmful for the environment. Second, the other two options are not available for me.
The first reason that why I decided not to use plastic bags is that plastic bags are really harmful to the local environment. As widely known, plastic bags are not naturally degradable. There are no germs which can degrade plastics, and there are no animals or insects which can digest plastics. Therefore if we use and waste plastic bags, they will be accumulated in our local environment and damage it. For example, local animals can be suffocated by plastic bags when they mistakenly eat them. If I do not don't use plastic bags, it will be helpful to the environment of my town.
Also, the other two options are not effective for me. I already use public transportation, so I can not help more my local environment by using it because I already use it. I think I can help public transportation by starting a campaign or suggesting to use it to my friends, but these methods are not effective. I have not much time for the campaign, and my friends will not commute by public transportation, because most of them need their car for taking their children to a kindergarten. Moreover, It is not a good option for me to construct a park or to plant a tree in my local community. There is not much land in Korea, so there is not much land to build a green place. I live in Seoul, and there is no place to plant trees. Moreover, a poll made by GP institute shows that citizens in Seoul prefer facilities for convenient such as a parking lot or a sports center thaen parks. Therefore, building a park is not a good idea for my local community.
In conclusion, I will use reusable bags rather than plastic bags. This is because it will be helpful for my local environment, and the other two options are not effective for me.
Fair (20-22) 서론 -, 로 문장 두개 이을 수 없습니다. 등위 접속사 필요합니다. 이 문맥에서는 대조의 의미가 어울리니 but을 써주세요.
첫번째 본문 -'어디에' 라는 의미를 줄 수 있는 전치사가 필요합니다. 따라서, in 써주세요. -축약형 지양해주세요. don't-->do not -내용 더 보충해주세요. degradable 하지 않은 것이 어떤 환경적인 악영향을 부르는지에 대해 더 자세히 써주세요. 두번째 본문 -cannot 붙여서 씁니다. -비교급에 사용하는 것은 then-->than 입니다. -내용상 public transportation에 대한 내용은 너무 개인적/주관적인 이유와 예시입니다. 아무리 토픽에서 what would you do?라고 했어도 이정도 수준으로 개인적으로 들어가는 것은 설득력을 떨어뜨리는 일입니다. 뒤에 park에 대한 주장을 펼치실 때 들어간 정도로만 들어가주세요.
수고하셨습니다~~
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