▶ Your Answer :
Some people says that all university students should be
required to take at least one class that teaches the culture of a country other
than their own. In my opinion, however, it should not be compulsory for them to
take the class since it is not practical to learn cultures of other countries
and having knowledge in other countries would not be beneficial.
First of all, I think there is more effective ways to
explore foreign cultures rather than taking the mandatory imperative class. We can visit
any countries we would like to experience or admire. That way is more effective
for the student’s minds to be filled maintained with wonderful and sensible memories.
For example, before I went to China, I had never been interested in the country
and its culture. Even if I watched a lot of famous cChinese movies or read cChinese books, it had never brought an excitement or curiosity to search for
more information about the country. After visiting China, however, my conception was
totally changed as I communicated with people there in person and carried their
exotic cultures and their historical heritage in my eyes. In this sense, the imperative compulsory class is not as practical
as visiting countries and communicating with its people. 특정 국가에 대해 더 잘 알 수 있는 방법이나 더 흥미를 가질 수 있는 방법에 대한 질문이 아니기 때문에 논점에서 벗어나는 부분들이 좀 생기는 것 같아요. 결론에서 이야기하는 것처럼 관심있는 사람이 찾아서 배우는 게 낫고 강제로 배우면 제대로 배우는 것도 별로 없다는 점을 중점적으로 설명하는 편이 더 적절해 보입니다. 중국에 가기 전엔 관심이 없었는데 가 보니까 좋았다는 사례내용도 '의무로 다른 나라 문화에 대한 수업을 배우는 것이 별로다'라는 점을 드러내기에는 좀 거리가 잇는 것 같아요.
Secondly, what we are asked to learn from the class is not
really beneficial because we may not visit those countries and there is no
chance to utilize our knowledge gained from the class. For example, my uncle has lived in Korea for his entire life and has learned English, its literatures and
cultures. Since he had no opportunity to go England or any other countries using(speaking) English, his study was not really useful when he wanted to get a job or
after he did. He mentioned that he should have spent his time on studying more
practical subjects or at least should have tried to go overseas so that he could know knows his last ten years was is not wasteful for his study. In this sense, we have
the right to choose whether we want to take the class that teaches the cultures
of a another country other and should think of
twice whether it is the best idea to teach an alien cultures to students in a
forced way.
In this regard, the class should not proceed forcedly under
supervision of a teacher. Students have to choose what they want to learn and
teachers, whose mission is not forcing but guiding, should lead the students to
have their own creative ways to explore the cultures.
Comment : 논제에 대한 나의 입장을 일관성있게 잘 서술해주셨습니다. 기본적으로 원해서 배워야 효과적이고 크게 배운 지식을 쓸 일이 없다고 설명한 각 본론의 주장들은 모두 좋습니다. 설명과 사례가 좀 더 논제와의 관련성을 잘 드러내는 형태로 다듬어지면 좋을 것 같아요. 문법사항도 꼼꼼하게 검토해주세요~ 수고 많으셨습니다~! Independent Writing Rubrics Score 4/5 An essay at this level largely accomplishes all of the following : - Addresses the topic and task well, though some points may not be fully elaborated (완벽하지는 않지만 문제의 요구사항을 대부분 잘 해결함) - Is generally well organized and well developed, using appropriate and sufficient explanations, exemplifications and/or details (적절하고 충분한 설명과 예시를 사용하며 대체로 글의 구성과 전개방식이 양호함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though it may contain occasional redundancy, digression, or unclear connections (중복된 내용이나 관련 없는 내용, 불분명한 연결이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 드러남) - Displays facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety and range of vocabulary, though it will probably have occasional noticeable minor errors in structure, word form or use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning (글의 의미를 손상시키지 않는 범위 내에서 사소한 문장구조, 단어 형태 오류를 보일 수 있으나, 전반적으로 어휘・통사적 다양성을 갖춘 유창한 언어 사용을 보임)
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