▶ Your Answer :
1. allow students to prepare for their future
2. students can gain more experience
There are some people who believe that university professors
should concentrate on researching rather than teaching their knowledge to
students. (주제 단어 그대로 사용 지양하시고 paraphrase해 주세요) However, in my opinion, I personally think that concerning their
status, 'educator', improving their pupils is important more than anything else
for the subsequent reasons. First, student can earn valuable lesson from
professors' lecture. Second, they are able to develop in-depth understanding of
their specific major.
First of all, professors' priceless lectures play a significant role in college students' life. Generally speaking, college stage is
the most important stage in students' life.
Therefore, students can be motivated to pursue their major or specify
their detailed major by listening to professor's class. Let my bring up my
personal anecdotes as an example. (Let으로 시작하는 문장: 구어체이므로 사용을 지양해주세요) For instance, when I was in college, my professors
significantly had an influence on deciding my own career because they always tried to give a variety of information about realistic situation of career.
Sometimes, I shared my concerns and problems related to professional
future. If my professors only paid attention to his research or study, I would have
not found my professional path. Come to think of it, a wide range of knowledge
and advice motivated me to do my best at the college stage and have confidence
on choosing my careers. - 주제에서 말하고자 하는 바인 'career'를 결정하는 부분에 도움이 되었다는 too general한 문장들 대신 어떤 조언을 주었는지 그로 인해 내가 ( ) 직업을 결정하는 데 도움이 되었는지 등에 대해 서술해주세요.
On top of that, if professors prioritize educating their
students, this helps students to prepare the competitive job market. These
days, it is very hard (혹은 harder) more and more hard to get a job upon graduation. Under this
difficult condition, it is a necessity for job seeker to be equipped with basic
knowledge of their major. There is a poll which shows the importance of the students' knowledge when they want to get better jobs. The purpose of the
survey was to confirm general tendency at the job market. The survey was
conducted by the National Association of Employment in Korea as respondents in diverse fields. The majority of respondents stated that the
quality of college lecture decides lead to candidates who possess an adequate grasp of students' majors. Additionally, their sufficient understanding of major could give
positive impression to employee at job interviews. Concerning this
circumstance, students can earn diverse advantages from well-designed lecture.
On the other hand, when professors focus on study rather than educating
students, it is difficult to grant basic
knowledge even though they could teach some experience. Basically, the harder the professors teach, the greater expertise their students will have, making them (who?) rewarding.
To sum up, professors' teaching their students have more advantages than performing professors' own researches for the reasons mentioned above. Instructing their pupils encourages them to
understand their major and makes students into competitive candidates in the job markets and. For these reasons, it is better for university professors to concentrate on teaching their students than studying their fields only.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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LIMITED
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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- Spelling Error도 큰 감점 원인 중 하나입니다. 현재 글에서 spelling error가 굉장히 많습니다. 주의해주세요.
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