▶ Your Answer : Some people assert that doing similar types of tasks is better than
working many different types of tasks, whereas others hold the opposite view.
As for my position, I stand on the side of the latter. The grounds for this are
that not only does can different types of work can motivate workers, but it also
provides a chance to broaden their perspective, which is related to the self-satisfaction. self-satisfying
For one thing, working limited task makes it next to impossible for workers to be
motivated for workers. As many people already knows , limited tasks are not
necessarily negative in that they allow it allows worker to grow at higher velocity from the repeatable process for similar tasks. H however, I strongly believe that doing a
variety of tasks work facilitates workers to make do more efforts, concentrate more, and be
responsible for what they do. This helps people to try for new things, and
satisfy become satisfied with their work and themselves. 새로운 일을 많이 시도해보는 것이 왜 동기부여가 되는지에 대한 설명이 모호합니다. 반대편 의견을 인정하는 부분은 사실상 불필요하기 때문에 어떤 점에서 동기부여가 되고 만족감을 부여해주는지에 대한 설명에 분량을 더 할애해주는 것이 좋습니다. To illustrate this, L last year, I got accepted from an
elementary school teaching programing project that I had never met before. ,
because Because I was not good at computer and computer science, I thought it would be
really difficult., However, through a week of arduous time, I could can acquire various skills
about the computer programing. This made make be a top ranked teacher who has a
professional computer skill. If I had not opted to start the new project, I
would not have been satisfied with myself and my career.
On top of that, trying different types of work enables workers to expand
their perspective. This does not mean that I ignore demerits of working various
kinds of tasks such as difficulty in hard to having expert skill. However, nothing is as
beneficial as working diverse tasks takes to broadening one's perspective. A variety of Various kinds of
work can expose us to the new world in which we can gain a valuable experience
and learn more about other things that we have never known before. For example,
when I was a homeroom teacher in Seoul, a capital of Korea, I was suggested to
be an English teacher. I thought it could be a great chance to learn more about another world of teaching and accepted the suggestion. I began to talk with many other foreign
teachers and learned how to make ‘ski-yaki’ from Japan and ‘guacamole’ made of
avocado from States. 다른 업무를 시도해서 생긴 이점이라기보다는 다른 나라 사람들을 많이 만나서 여러 경험을 해본 내용이므로 논점이 약간 다릅니다. 그리고 전문교사가 갑자기 '다른 과목을 가르치는 일'을 맡게 되는 건 너무 비약적인 것 같아요. At that time, I felt fully satisfied with my life and job.
Thus it is safe to say that working for a variety jobs contributes greatly to
one's job satisfaction. satisfying job.
All in all, I have come to the rational conclusion that it is
considerably beneficial to work for a variety of tasks for worker’s motivated life
and wide perspective.
Comment : 동기부여가 되고 시야를 넓힐 수 있다는 점에서 job satisfaction이 높아진다는 주장은 모두 좋습니다. 하지만 각 본론의 설명과 사례 내용이 이를 충분히 논증하지 못하고 있다는 점이 아쉬워요. 너무 많은 내용을 담기보다는 왜 그것이 간으하고 왜 그것이 직무만족도에 중요한지를 설명하는 데 초점을 두고 간결하게 논리를 풀어주시면 좋을 것 같아요. 문법오류가 많으니 대소문자 오류, 주술호응, 품사사용 등 꼼꼼하게 체크해주세요. 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Independent Writing Rubrics Score 2.5/5 An essay at this level is marked by one or more of the following : - Addresses the topic and task using somewhat developed explanations, exemplifications and/or details (일정 수준의 설명과 예시를 활용하여 문제의 요구사항을 해결함) - May demonstrate inconsistent facility in sentence formation and word choice that may result in lack of clarity and occasionally obscure meaning (문장의 구성 또는 어휘의 선택에서 내용의 명확성이 떨어지거나 의미 전달이 불분명한 부분들이 있음) - Inappropriate or insufficient exemplifications, explanations or details to support or illustrate generalizations in response to the task (설명이나 예시, 세부사항이 필자의 주장을 뒷받침하기에 부족하거나 부적절한 경우) - An accumulation of errors in sentence structure and/or usage (두드러지는 문장구조/사용 상의 오류)
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