Obviously, leisure time plays a significant role rola in people’s lives in many of the places where they work or play. Some people think people’s free time will not increase in the future, while others do not. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that people will have more leisure time in twenty years. There are several reasons as follows.
To begin with, free time will be increased because of the development deveolpment of new technology such as computers. As new technology which helps people work more efficiently has improved, people can finish their assignments more quickly fastly and easily. People do not need to work lately to finish remaining works, and it is likely to provide people more free time after work. According to the study conducted by Yale University in 2012, researchers found a huge difference between two groups of young employees. One group consisted of those who need to finish their projects with computers, and the other group was made up of those who have to finish their projects without them. The researchers found the former was more likely to finish their assignments 20% faster than the latter. Moreover, the accuracy of the projects of the first group was higher thatn that of the second one. This implies that using a new technology is really helpful for doing their works. Without a new technology, people would not be given more free time.
On top of that, people will get more leisure time because people have s changed their thoughts about what to focuss on to get happiness in life. In the past, many people thought earning a lot of money was the important component in the pursuit of happiness in their lives;, however, nowadays people begin to take their eyes to the quality of their lives. That is if the job requires people so much time, they tend to avoid the job even though they can make a lot of money. For instance, there was a survey conducted by Seoul National University, with 200 young people as respondents. The purpose of the survey was to understand their thoughts about conditions considering most if they choose future jobs. A majority of respondents replied that the most important component is how much work time they have to engage in. They respond that the time should not exceed 8 hours in a day. To be specific, an overwhelming 85% responded that the job they can have a lot of free time and long vacation is the best job. This survey proves that people nowadays considers the amount of their free time they can have seriously when choosing their jobs.
All things considered, without any hesitation, I firmly believe people in the future will have more time to enjoy their leisures for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, the importance of free time cannot be overestimated in the pursuit of happiness in life.
Good (24–30)
서론
-철자 오류. role
첫번째 본문
-철자 오류. development
-technology 단수이므로 help-->helps
-동사 remain이 아니라 동명사 remaining 이 더 적절합니다.
-fastly 보다는 quickly 가 적절합니다.
-두 개의 그룹을 비교하는 이야기 할 때는 between을 써주세요.
-철자 오류. researchers, former
-수동태는 be p.p. 로 써주세요.
두번째 본문
-people 복수이므로 has-->have
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