Some people might believe that it is better for colleagues or classmates to communicate in person than through emails or telephones for a project. (주제 내 사용된 단어를 그대로 사용하는 것을 지양해주세요/Paraphrase 필요) However, in my opinion, it is better for colleagues or classmates to communicate through emails or telephones than in person in order to do a project for several reasons. First, it saves time. Second, communicating in person for a project is not an effective way (어떤 측면에서 효과적이지 않은지 서술해야 합니다, too broad)
To begin with, communicating through emails or telephones for a project may save time. This is because you can contact them via phone or internet at any time. it does not require certain location or time. Since these technologies are time and space-free, colleagues can communicate one another whenever and wherever they want. Moreover, nowadays, there is a conference call system in which more than two people can talk in the same call. So, it will be great benefit for classmates to communicate through telephones for a project. (여기서는 기술의 발전을 통해 시간과 공간에 제약을 받지 않는 다는 점을 더 부각해야 하며 이에 맞는 example을 제시할 수 있어야 합니다.)
Second of all, communicating in person for a project may not be an effective way. This is because there People are likely to get distracted and talk about other topic during discussing for a project. For example, as a junior in high school, I had many group project. One day, I had a group project for science class. I and three friends just planned when we would meet to share ideas for the project. It seemed like the project was going well at that time. However, when we met for the project, I realized that it was a bad idea. We met at around during time, so By the time when we met, it was close to dinner time and we were all hungry. Instead of jumping to actual meeting for project, we just ordered a fried chicken and planning to discussed what we do for the project while we were having fried chicken (chicken = 생닭, fried chicken = 닭 튀긴 것). While we were eating, we talked about ordinary and funny stories, not about the project. What a waste of time! (TOEFL 에세이에서는 구어체 사용 지양해주세요) For this waste of time, We could not finish our project well because we were distracted so many times; eventually, we did not get high grade for science.
To sum up, communicating through emails or telephones may help classmates to save their time. Also, communicating in person is unlikely to be an effective way since people can be distracted easily when they talk in person. In this regard, I absolutely believe that it is better for colleagues to communicate through emails or telephones than in person in order to a project.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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LIMITED
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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- 문장을 채점자의 입장에서 다시 검토 후 부족한 설명들을 보충할 수 있어야 합니다.