■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : To become a leader or a politician, communication skill is important AG/DIS |
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▶ Your Answer :
Some people might say that other abilities such as economic or political
power are important to become a leader or a politician. However, in my opinion, in order to become a good leader, people must have good communication skills. (the most essential to be a leader. competence of chief.) The first
reason is that communication skills are considered as the best virtue of politician. The second reason is that
active communications and discussions are very helpful when addressing issues. (to address lots of troubles.)
To begin with, most people think that communication abilities are the most important qualifications for leaders. Unlike the past, almost
all people want to communicate with someone is a flexible thinker. (more flexible and favorable person who like to talk with each other.)
In the past, there used to be (are a
significance amount of) conflicts between leaders and citizens because of lack (absence) of communication. To solve these problems, many people (folks)
have changed their way of thinking. (thoughts.) For example, Ms. Park, the fortmer president of Korea, got impeached. (who was a
leader in Korea before quitted the president.) This is because she didn't take any actions when a ship sank in the
ocean and many students died because of that. (huge ship
sinking into sea. In results, lots of people died when the catastrophe
happened.) After that, people started to think that it’s important for politicians to have communication
skills. (is regarded as very necessary virtue to politicians and a myriad of
citizens also has changed their attitudes.)
On top of that, interactive communication is much more helpful to solve (diverse)
problems. To be specific, communication means that many participants exchange their opinions. (give and take their own opinions each
other.) It is a good opportunity to gain other perspectives. (So it is useful for them to get solutions through not a single idea but
a variety of ideas.) For instance, last semester, I took two classes. I had to do a group project in one class, and the other I did not have
to. (One was with team-project, and another was without that.) The former one was (more) busier (for me) than the latter. I had to do lots
of assignment and had many meetings. (But) I
realized that we could get things done faster thanks to teamwork and discussions. (find excellent suggestion from diverse opinions and active discussions.)
As a result, I got a great score and was very happy with
the results.( more satisfied with the class with project). Therefore, I believe that (can identify that) communication skills
are effective to solve some troubles.
To sum up, leaders should develop communication skills to interact their
citizens. It makes citizens participate more
in the political process. In this regard, communication skills are important to
become a leader or a politician.
Writing Score
(0-30): 18-20
Score (0-5):
2.75-3.00
Grammar &
Feedback: 문법, 어휘, 문장 구성 공부 더 열심히 하셔야 할 것 같아요. 그리고 주장에
비해 근거와 예시가 설득력이 있지 않습니다. 수고하셨어요.
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시간을 확실히 재진 않았는데 30분 살짝 초과한 것 같습니다. 아닌가.. 모르겠네요
템플릿은 글 구조에 해당하는 접속사만 살짝살짝 참고하고 나머지는 제 머릿속에서 다 짜냈는데 어떻게 나오긴 하네요 ㅠㅠㅠ
paraphrasing이 잘 안 된 것 같은데... 잘 봐주시기 바랍니당. ㅠㅠㅠ