▶ Your Answer :
Friends are people who give you comfortable feeling as well as energy. In order to keep in touch with a person, importance of maintaining positive feeling about the person is very important. People commonly believe that it is easy to have solid relationship with someone who has similar traits and belief since they are more likely to have advantage in finding a common ground and do something together.
First of all, building a common ground and sharing interest with someone who already likes what I like are much more easier. People usually open their first conversation with someone based on their personal preference. This is because the person who has similar characteristics tends to provide mental bond with the other, even though they have not seen each other ever before. According to the research conducted by Professional Association of Social Behavior Science(PASBS), individuals who share similarities in interests and life patterns are likely to have stronger relationship than other group of people who do not have a common interest with one another. The researcher separated participants into two groups within the experiment. The first group was consisted of the pairs of people whom responded that they have similarities with each other in their lifestyle. The other group was school of people who did not have shared ground with each other. The researchers traced their relationship for fifteen years. Surprisingly, the result showed that the people in the first group still kept in touch with each other as much as they did back in the days, whereas the second group had been almost shattered out and barely contacted each other. This result indicates that similar people could have better relationship compared to their counterparts.
Second, friends who have same orientation could do various activities together, and this makes their friendship stronger. Friendship develops when people share the vivid moments together. rather than texting and mailing to each other. For example, I have a friend who loves hiking. We became closer in a hiking club in my college year. She was passionate about exploring new mountains and lakes, which I always had wanted to in some point in my life. We went to innumerable place together and shared some precious moment. Those memories were still vital part of my life, and I remind the experience that I had made. at then she also pop up into my mind. We still keep in touch with each other, although we are eight hours apart from each other for a long time. Still, I believe that our relationship was beneficial to me, providing wonderful memories and sense of comfort (왜 서로 공통점이 많은 관계가 더 beneficial한지 에 대해 짚어주세요). The power of similarity is bigger than people usually think.
For these reasons, I firmly assert that having friends who have common ground which you would eventually beneficial to yourself. Having relationships which give motivations (에세이 내에서 motivation에 다루는 부분이 없기 때문에 stronger bonding에서 나오는 안정감과 관계형성이 용이해지는 점에 대해 다뤄주세요) and comfort is better than those of requiring demanding endurance and understanding.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
|
ORGANIZATION
|
PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
|
LANGUAGE USE
|
GRAMMAR
|
GOOD
|
FAIR
|
FAIR
|
GOOD
|
FAIR
|
각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
|
- 본 에세이의 경우 ~이 ~보다 더 나은 이유이기 때문에 benefit을 제공하여 반대 입장의 논리를 이긴다는 느낌으로 정리해야 합니다. 구체적으로 관심사가 비슷한 친구를 사귈 때 그렇지 않을 때보다 구체적으로 '이득이 되는 점' 에 초점을 맞추어 내용을 정리해주세요. |