▶ Your Answer : I agree with the statement that ~~~. 주제를 명시적으로 언급해주세요. There are three there reasons why I claim like this. it. Briefly speaking, today’s science requires much time and money, and needs integration between different fields.
Firstly, contemporary research consumes tons of time owing to deepened depth of field. Compared to the past science society, recent research areas have been are widened and deepened. For example, Newton was a famous politician, physicist, and mathematician. At that time, many scientists studied different fields at the same time. However, current researchers focus on more specific part of one field because science is too complex. hard. To find new theory, they need to spend their whole time establishing to solve it. Therefore, they do not have a time to study other fields. To get information of other fields, they need to look over scientific reports of other researchers. It elucidates the needs of information sharing.
Secondly, much money is required for today’s research. Compared to the past research, present present-day science deals with very large, very small, or very complicated system. Specifically, for example, a physicist who studies about cosmos must have a superb telescope to watch how stars move. And another physicist who conducts researches about atomic structure has to possess an ultra-high resolution microscope. Prices of both scopes are super high. Tools for these kinds of research cost more than 1 million dollars per each scope. Therefore, each research center cannot buy whole stuff which they need. They have to focus on a specific field to make valuable results. Thus they make reports about limited fields. It means that to know other fields, they have to rely on each other’s reports.
Finally, new science requires integration of different fields. New and meaningful scientific reports deal with combination of distinct fields. For instance, combination of electronics, telecommunication, and biology helps disabled monkey to walk. They draw the nerve system of brain and right leg, which keeps monkey cannot move from moving, and transmits transmitted brain signals to leg by using ex vivo electromagnetic impulse on the neuron. By the As a result, monkey can control its own leg, which was not possible before. It shows that integration of fields is meaningful. This combination was possible because of sharing of scientific discoveries.
In conclusion, I assure that scientific discoveries should be shared to improve all the science with for three reasons above. These reasons are; tons of money consumption, time consumption, and integration between fields.
Comment : 영문 에세이에서는 '왜 그래야 하는지'가 문두에 명확히 드러나야 합니다. 과학분야가 세분화되어서 돈이나 시간이 많이 든다는 내용은 내가 제시하는 이유가 아니라 배경설명에 해당합니다. 과학계 정보를 공유해야 하는 이유는 돈이나 시간이 많이 들기 때문이 아니라 공유를 통해 '돈을 절약하고 / 시간을 절약하고 / 더 높은 성과를 낼 수 있기 때문'이므로, 이 부분을 main idea로 해서 본론을 구성해주어야 합니다. 두괄식 문형에 맞게 문단을 구성하는 부분에 좀 더 신경쓰시면 훨씬 좋은 점수대를 받으실 수 있을 거예요. 문장구조와 표현면에서 어색한 부분들도 꼼꼼하게 검토해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Independent Writing Rubrics Score 3/5 An essay at this level is marked by one or more of the following : - Addresses the topic and task using somewhat developed explanations, exemplifications and/or details (일정 수준의 설명과 예시를 활용하여 문제의 요구사항을 해결함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though connection of ideas may be occasionally obscured (문맥이 모호한 부분들이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 어느 정도 드러남) - May demonstrate inconsistent facility in sentence formation and word choice that may result in lack of clarity and occasionally obscure meaning (문장의 구성 또는 어휘의 선택에서 내용의 명확성이 떨어지거나 의미 전달이 불분명한 부분들이 있음) - May display accurate but limited range of syntactic structures and vocabulary (답안의 내용은 주제에 부합하지만 제한된 문장구조나 어휘를 사용함) |