■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic : What is the most important ability that high school teachers should have? The ability to give students advice on future career The ability to help students when they need the help The ability to encourage students to teach themselves outside of the classroom
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▶ Your Answer : Undoubtedly, abilities of a teacher play a significant role in a student’s life in many of the places where they study or play. A high school teacher could have various abilities: they could give students (단복수) advice on future career, help students when they need help, and encourage students to teach themselves outside of the classroom. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that teaching students to learn by themselves outside of school is the most important ability for a high school teacher to be equipped with. There are several reasons as follows.
Most of all, when high school teacher encourages (주어동사 불일치) (encourage someone to V 형태입니다.) to student to learn by themselves outside of the class, it can get a job satisfying themselves. Having a personal experience outside is a chance to get motivation to decide students' career by themselves. If students decide their own career, they are likely to obtain motivation to find their job and bring a better result in their life. For example, when my younger sister was in high school, she often felt depressed thinking that her life became exhausting routine. To survive in this competitive world, she spent the whole day studying all academic projects, hoping that she could outdo others. However, it was not easy because everyone was studying as hard as she was. Although she always tried to get advice and talk to her teacher on the future when she had a gloomy feeling, these effects are temporary. However, she has changed little by little after she started volunteering activities from a recommendation of the teacher. She joined teaching club that helped poor children with reading and writing. The child felt happier after getting help from her. Also, she was able to see positive result on what she contributed to. After this experience, she decided her job as a teacher and now became a great elementary school teacher educating many students. If her teacher had not told to experience outside themselves, she would not have been able to realize (to부정사 입니다) what is meaningful in her life.
In short, I strongly believe that a teacher’s ability to teach students to be experience of outside of the class is more important than any other one, such as the ability to give good advice related to career or the ability to help students in need, for the reasons I have mention above. (문장이 너무 길어요) All in all, the importance of learning to experience outside of the classroom cannot be overestimated in school. |
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. 토플 에세이의 기본적인 구성은 서론 - 본론 1 - 본론 2 - 결론입니다.
그런데 지금 본론 2가 빠져있는 것을 확인하실 수 있습니다.
다른 reason 하나를 더 써주시면 구조상으로 더 보기 좋은 에세이가 될 듯합니다.
3. 중간중간 사소한 문법 오류가 많은데,
검토를 꼼꼼히 하셔서 이런 실수들을 줄여주시면 좋을 거 같습니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*