Some people think that hasty decisions can not
become right ones. However, I believe that there is quite a lot of
chance which makes hasty decision right. This is because there is time when we
should make fast decision sometimes and too much considerations may lead
to inaccurate judgment ones.
To begin with, we often need agile decision. In many cases of our life, it is it's also important to follow our own intuitions. There are so many problems that
can not be solved only with prudence and lots of time. For example, I had
difficulty when I was solving math problem in Korean SAT. The problem was that
yield the least area of sphere's shadow which is subjected to ground by
sunlight. To solve this, it would be needed to make elaborate equations but I
guessed that answer can be calculated easily when sunlight falls to the ground at right angle with it. Through this
intuition, I could solve this problem very easily. It was a piece of cake!On top of that, excess of prudence can make fallacy rather than accuracy. We
sometimes take into account things that we do not
don't
need to. These excessive consideration leads to inaccurate results and
inefficiency. The study of Seoul National University have shown that people
frequently choose wrong way when they are given lots of time to think. They
were asked to escape the maze and each hadve
different time to choose way when reach at separated ways. Those who were given
30 seconds spend so much time to choose that their escaping time reached to 30
minutes. But people given 10 seconds rather made fast results. They tended to
go back when choose wrong side but they finally found the right ones and
escaped in 17 minutes on average.
To sum up, hasty decision can be agility one sometimes and appropriately
less consideration often results in accuracy. Because of these reasons, I
strongly believe that hasty decision is not the
waste but the right ones.
327 words
Fair (21-23)
서론
-cannot 붙여서 씁니다.
-ones 애매한 표현입니다. judgment 같이 좀더 구체적인 표현으로 바꿔주세요.
첫번째 본문
-축약형 지양해주세요. it's-->it is
-our own으로 해주셔야 자연스럽습니다.
-수 일치 sunlight 단수이므로 fall-->falls
-마지막 문장 불필요하고 너무 개인적인 감정/의견입니다.
-예시에서, fast decision을 했어야 했다는 것을 더 강조해주세요.
두번째 본문
-축약형 지양해주세요. don't-->do not
-문맥상 과거이므로 have-->had
-fallacy rather than accuracy 였던 부분을 더 강조/설명해주세요.
결론
-줄 친 부분 이해하기 어렵습니다.
-그냥 hasty라고 하시면 hasty가 꾸며주는 명사가 없으므로 어색합니다. hasty decision으로 좀더 명확하게 써주세요.
문법/표현과 본문의 내용에 대해 개선해주세요.
수고하셨습니다~~