▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, money can make stimulate people stimulated to work hard. Some people argue that a teacher’s earnings should be based on his or her students’ performance. They may think that it can make teachers teach their students harder. However, I do not agree with the opinion above. This is because the quality of the teacher’s lectures can be lowered? (Why's that?) and make the students feel stressful. First of all, the quality of a teacher’s lectures can be degraded. (Because of what?) When the teacher’s earnings is changed depending on the students’ performance, the teacher would try harder to improve their students’ grades. It can make teachers give their students several hints regarding to the exams (It might be illegal) and train them to solve the questions. Thus, the quality of the class can be lowered. For instance, I read an article that a student criticized that teachers’ teaching quality was getting lower. He said that the teachers once provided students with valuable materials and exciting activities to help students understand during the class before, but now, they just gave them clues about tests and a lot of questions to solve. The article writer pointed out that the school’s decision to give teachers salary depending on the students’ achievement as a main reason of this situation. (Make it clearer) Second, it can make students feel stressed. (Specify "it") A teacher’s earnings based on his or her students’ performance can make the teacher keep compelling their students to study hard to get good grades. Thus, the students can be under heavy huge stress to study. For example, I was not interested in studying history because the subject was boring and unrelated to it did not have a relationship with my dream future job at all. and my history teacher understood my situation and did not push me to study history. However, after my school decided to provide teachers’ salary depending on their students’ achievement, the history teacher forced me to study history hard continuously. I had to study history more even though I did not want to. Thus, it gave me a lot of stress. To sum up, I believe that a teacher’s earnings should not be based on their students’ achievement. This is because it can make the quality of teachers’ lecture lowered and students feel stressed.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 2 | Score | Limited 10-17 | - Giving several hints 는 다소 논란이 있는 부분이 있기 때문에, 차라리 test를 쉽게 만들어 학생들의 점수를 높게 하는 불공평함을 초래할 수 있다는 점을 보여주시는 것이 더 좋을 것 같네요.
- 대부분의 문장들이 고급문법을 포함하지 않고. 상당히 짧게 서술이 되어 있네요.
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