▶ Your Answer :
Some people might say that the advice given by grandparents is meaningful and pretty useful in modern society. However, in my opinion, it is sometimes not effective for young people detrimental in modern society. The reason is that there is a substantial generation gap between old generation and us.
To begin with, the reason for why we should follow more younger generation's advice is that there is a considerable generation gap between old generation and our generation due to the development of technology. Modern world society is such a information-oriented society that needs for people to follow fast. As a matter of fact, for the old people who are not adaptable(=accustomed) to technology, it is fairly hard to follow the advancement of technology. They are likely to have a less ability to foresee which can overlook the future of their grandchild generation compared to the past. I will give you an example to elucidate my point. 2 years ago, when I was a high school student, my grandfather gave me an advice about my what I have to do in the future when I have to choose my major at the university, he merely recommended me to be an accountant after the graduation, majoring the thing that associated with accountant. However, actually the job 'accountant' is one of the jobs that will be eliminated in the future since computers are going to work all of chores related to accounting instead of them. Moreover, I was refuting about majoring the computational engineering to my grandparents but they could not give me the advice about the fact that If I were to major computational engineering. (Wrong grammar structure, hard to get the meaning of those sentences) So I had to asked one of my teachers who were comparatively young and had brighter insight than my grandparents in terms of the future jobs. As a result, my advisor focused on the things that will be popular in the future so I could choose my major at the university.
To sum up, it is really important to get the advice from the people who have insightful opinion especially if it is affiliated with modern society. In this regard, I believe the advice granted by grandparents to their grandchildren is less useful in contemporary society.
| 채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 1 | 2 | 2 | 2 | Score | Limited 9-14 | - 이유는 한 가지만이 제시되어 있고, 두 번째/ 세 번째 이유는 적절히 제시되지 않아 있네요. - 어색한 문장과 틀린 어법 및 단어들로 구성된 부분이 많이 보입니다. - overlook은 간과하다는 표현으로 문맥상 어울리지 않습니다.
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