■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic :
To be a successful person, one must be open to new ideas and willing to change his or her mind |
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▶ Your Answer :
Being The way to be a successful person is an ongoing debate among people. Some advocate that to be a successful person, one must be open to new ideas and willing to change his or her mind. On the other hand, others contend that it is not necessary to be open to new ideas and willing to change his or her mind to be a successful person. A close examination of the issue will clearly demonstrate that to be a successful person, one must be open to new ideas and willing to change his or her mind, because it enables people to develop creativity and build close relationships with people.
In order to build a strong foundation to the perspective that being open to new ideas and willing to change mind enables people to develop creativity, it is first necessary to logically analyze its potential positive benefits. For example, when people are at work, they have to endure countless documents and continue to read more even at home. Such an exhausting routine repeats itself and eventually deplete creativity. Since being a successful person needs various changes of thought, people need the amount of creativity. (Why's that?) And as a way to stimulate creativity, people can be opened to new ideas and willing to change one’s mind. Even if it is only a little change, it helps people broaden their perspectives and gives the ability to solve the problem in various aspects. In this regard, being open to new ideas and willing to change mind enables people to develop creativity.
Being open to new ideas and willing to change one's mind, to add on to the aforementioned point, enables people to build close relationships with people. Understanding the importance of friendship in the path of success and the potential role of being open to new ideas and willing to change one’s mind is necessary to substantiate this view. For instance, being opened to new ideas and willing to change one’s mind provide meaningful opportunity for people to connect with others. Since being a successful person often needs other people’s assistance and life advice, people should build close relationships with people. Essentially, being opened to new ideas and willing to change one’s mind promotes activities to encourage people to openly interact with one another. Such intercommunication builds a platform not only to mingle with people no matter who they are but also to bring up assistance. Consequently, being opened to new ideas and willing to change mind enables people to build close relationships with people.
To sum up, I believe that to be a successful person, one must be opened to new ideas and willing to change his or her mind for the following reason: develop creativity and build close relationships with people. Consequently, the importance of my view cannot be underestimated to the reasons I have mentioned above.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 3 | 2
| 2 | 2 | Score | Fair 17-23 | - topic의 내용인 "to be a successful person, one must be open to new ideas and willing to change his or her mind" 이 여러차례 반복되어 사용이 되었어요. 다른 synonym으로 적절히 바꾸어주세요. - 어떠한 이유에서 다양한 생각의 전환에, creativity가 필요한 것인가요? 근거를 함께 제시하여 주세요. - 두 번째 내용에서는 주장을 파악하기 어려우며, 똑같은 내용이 반복되서 사용되었습니다.
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예상 점수도 가능하다면 적어주시면 감사합니다!!