■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
|
|
▶ Topic : Some movies are serious, designed to make the audience think. Other movies are designed primarily to amuse and entertain. Which type to you prefer?
|
|
|
▶ Your Answer : Some people might say that the main purpose of making movies should be educational or serious in order to make the audience think. However, in my opinion, when people see movies, it should not make people be irritated. There are two reasons. First, the main purpose of seeing movies is to enjoy people’s spare time. Second, serious movies can make other people be distracted. To begin with, when people see amusing or funny movies, they can feel comfortable and enjoy their spare time. Also, with these movies, they can relieve their stress. As the world is getting more competitive and busier, people cannot easily get time to see a movie. Thus, when people are able to have a chance to see a movie with their friends or lovers, they might want to spend their time funnily and enjoyably. For instance, there was a survey conducted by education majors in Korea University, with 220 workers as respondents. The purpose of this survey was to understand their thought about seeing movies. A majority of them said that the main aim of watching movies was to enjoy their time and get rid of their stress. Also, they stressed that the genre that they preferred was entertaining movies. On top of that, when people see serious movies, they might talk to their friends to understand the story of the movie. This is because educational or serious movies are made rather difficult or unfamiliar. Therefore, people talk about those things with one another to comprehend. However, this can distract other people. For example, two weeks ago, I visited a theater to see a historical movie. However, some people were an obstacle for me to concentrate on this movie. During the running time, they continuously talked to each other. This is because some background knowledge was needed to understand that movie well. Due to this action, I had to lose my precious time. To sum up, when it comes to seeing movies, I am sure that the purpose is clear. People can get rid of their stress and they do not want to be distracted by other people. In this regard, I firmly believe that amusing genre is a better choice. |
|
1. 두 번째 body paragraph의 설득력이 떨어집니다.
보통 잘 생각하지 않을 법한 이유입니다.
조금 더 보편적인 시선으로 접근하면 좋을 거 같습니다.
예시도 부실한 편입니다. 디테일을 더욱 늘려주세요.
2. talk 동사에 대한 이해가 부족한 편입니다.
talk with someone -> 누구와 이야기하다
talk to someone -> 누구에게 이야기하다
talk about someone -> 누구에 대하여 이야기 하다
위 두 구는 같은 의미를 가지고 있지만
마지막 구는 내용 자체가 달라집니다.
전치사 주의하면서 써주세요!
수고하셨습니다. *^^*