▶ Your Answer : Although dogs are most preferred domestic animal as a pet, there are still controversy about origin of the dog. (intro에 자기 의견 및, 자신이 설명할 주장 간단한 summary작성해주셔야 합니다) First, dogs were domesticated from wolves, true or false?(???) It’s false because wolf’s theory of hunting is chasing after a prey but human’s early hunting style was using a trap so it’s 100% opposite to make a advantage to human domesticating wolf. (무슨 말을 하려고 하는지 이해가 잘 안갑니다) Also wolf itself is very aggressive and it gets harsher as it gets older. To domesticate this aggressive predator is too hard for early humans to do. Second, dogs were domesticated about 26,000 B.C. according to a fossil which showed a footprint of a boy and a dog walking together. This tells us that dogs were domesticated 10000 years earlier than researchers thought. Third, dogs weren’t first domesticated from China. A lot of diverse species of dog fossil was found not only in China but also in Europe, North America, Middle East.
우선 통합형 format을 잘 모르시고 작성한 것 같습니다. 통합형은 reading이나 listening 주장 중 한개를 설명하고->반박, 설명->반박 설명->반박 이렇게 진행되는 에세이입니다. 다른 분들이 쓰신 통합형 읽어보시고, 어휘나 표현 비슷하게 쓰시는 걸로 시작해서 연습 하시면 됩니다. 그리고 어휘나 문법 오류는 많은 편입니다. 해석 자체가 힘든 부분이 꽤 보입니다. 조금 더 다양한 표현이나 문장 형식 사용할 수 있도록 공부 더 하시면 더 좋을 거 같아요 |