▶ Your Answer :Some people think that following other people is a trend. However in my opinion, being different with other people is very important for sucess. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. First of all, It is very competitive. If all people are same, they will have same chances. However, If someone specialized in one field, it means to have comparative advantage. It is more likely to become a head starter. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. My sister is a teacher. When she was a high school student, she learend Taekowndo. One day, The school she worked decide to make a takewondo team. There were no teacher who could teach taekwondo for student except her. Thanks for her endeavor, she got the prize which helps her to be promoted. Secondly, It is easy to deal with the problem in a new point of view. Let's think there is a problem that is hard to solve. If people always try the same way, they will never succeed. Sometimes people need to approach a problem in a special way to make their purpose, and unique people is the right man. For instance, my father is very considerate conisderable. My family planned to travel for our vacation. My mother and I insisted to go Busan where we always went, but my sister wanted to go Seoul. It was very hard problem for us, and we even fought over with this problem. As my father could not just see this situation, he proposed to go Gwanju where have both advantages of Seoul and Busan. After a trip, all my family members felt happy, and we talk about the trip until now. We are going to ask our father where to go on our next vacation. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that special people who think and behave differently from others are very essential for our society. This is because their advantage of difference and problemsolving ability.
paragraph를 어떻게 나눈건가요? 첫 시작은 무조건 자신의 주장 피력하는 문장으로 시작해야 합니다. 하지만 여기서는 두 paragraph모두 예시로 시작하고 있네요 spelling오류가 너무 많은 편입니다. proof reading할 때 이런 오류들은 다 고칠 수 있도록 해주세요 어휘도 문장에 잘 맞지 않는 단어 쓰인 부분이 너무 많습니다. 제 생각에는 어휘 공부와 문장쓰기 연습이 함께 병행되어야 할 것 같습니다. |