▶ Your Answer :
Some people believe that individuals should ask other
people to solve problems. There are obviously many opinions regarding this
topic, but it is clear that solving the problems using a person's own knowledge and
experience is more effective.
Admittedly, using one's knowledge and experience to solve
problems is too stressful. This is mainly because, unlike asking other people (about what?),
if when people solve problems by themselves without any help by others, they will
feel more difficulty and pressured. This situation will stress them out. In
fact, stress is one of the primary factors of illnesses because it weakens the
ability of the immune system in fighting diseases. For example, my uncle, a
doctor at a general hospital in a city (Where exactly?) often tells me that many of his patients
suffer adverse health effects from stress. They come to him for stress-related
ailments and disorders. He has found the relationship between stress and human diseases
such as headaches, high blood pressure, and insomnia. In this sense, it is
healthful to ask other people for advice.
However, utilizing individual's knowledge and experience
is helpful for one's career. This is due to the fact that, compared to asking
for help to other people, if people solve the problems by themselves, they solving issues alone with his or her own knowledge will
develop problem solving skills while concentrating and trying to solve the
problems. As modern society has become increasingly specialized and
competitive, today's companies are looking for such qualities. Therefore, these
are important to fight for jobs in highly competitive labor markets. For
instance, my father, the CEO of a company in Korea, often tells me that a job
interview typically precedes the hiring decision. He and other interviewers at
the interview mainly consider look at the applicants' passion and problem solving
skills when they decide a proper person for the position. Therefore, using one's knowledge and experience is a sure definite way for
people, especially children, to prepare for the future.
On balance, some might argue that asking other people
help to solve problems is better. Nevertheless, it seems to me that solving
problems with one's knowledge and experience is beneficial, rather than asking
other people. The example of employment supports the argument.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 2
| 2 | 1 | Score | Limited 1-16 | - stress 영향력에만 초점을 맞추지 않도록 유의하여 주세요.(mostly template)
- 주장의 방향은 using own knowledge and experience가 효과적이다 라고 명시하였지만, 첫 번째 주장은 이와 정반대로 언급하셨으므로 off topic입니다.
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