*진하게 표시한 부분은 제가 파악한 문단의 주요 내용이니 참고하세요^^
The reading passage states that there are several problems related to utilizing utilize aquatic farming in order to supplement fishing. On the other hand, the lecturer explains how these concerns can be alleviated.
First, the speaker argues that ordinary farmers farmer usually can use bottom dwelling fish. In other words, the researchers found that the According to the lecturer, bottom-dwelling fish is effective to clean bad habitats. This is because they not only consume much of the organic matters, but also control health problem of for fish through reducing harmful bacteria. The is in response to the reading passage’s claim that many fish fishes *fish의 복수형은 그대로 fish를 사용합니다. caught a disease through harmful bacteria that is growing in a limited conditions. acuatic farm의 활용에 대한 문제점을 이야기하는 reading과 그 해결책을 설명하는 lecturer의 입장을 정리하는 요약문이므로 'acuatic farm의 활용' 키워드가 들어가주는 것이 좋습니다.
Second, according to the lecturer, it is easy to prevent interbreeding between escaped farmed fish and wild fish. The lecturer has a 100 percent conviction because farmers always check fish enclosures and it is a certain method of preventative maintenance. This shows solution to the reading passage’s concern over the fact that it is hard to live together due to wild fish because farmed fish are weakening so that they loss of many lives and it brings about lower survival rates. reading의 중심내용이 명확하지 않습니다. 'it is hard to live together=같이 살기 힘들다'라는 표현도 맥락에 맞지 않습니다. 지문 내용을 다시 점검해보시고 알맞게 다듬어주세요.
The final point made by the lecturer is that shrimp farming can turn always turned used-water into to clean water that is safe to live for fish through the method of retreated and recycled the water. For example, the plants a plant which is called ‘Mangroves’ protect fish from high salinity. The Mangroves absorb the salinity from their roots and secrete them from their leaves. This shows that Mangroves remove salinity from the soil and purify the water. 설명 내용이 불필요하게 깁니다. 반복되는 설명이나 꼭 필요하지 않은 내용을 정리해주세요. This addresses the reading passage’s problem that fish farming, especially shrimp farming, can destroy the environment in case of shrimp farming, and it is impossible to reuse water because of the high salinity.
Writing 0–30 score scale
Fair (17–23)
통합형 답안은 reading passage와 lecture에서 서로 반박하고 있는 기준을 찾아 그 반박 근거를 일목요연하게 정리하는 것이 목적이므로 노트테이킹한 내용을 적절하게 배치하고 대립되는 부분이 잘 보이도록 글을 구성하는 것이 중요합니다. 내가 정리한 detail들을 설명으로 풀어낼 때 main topic과의 연관성을 제대로 살려주지 않으면 글 전체의 unity가 떨어지게 됩니다. 지문의 핵심적인 내용들만 남겨둘 수 있도록 답안과 비교하면서 꾸준히 연습해주세요^^ 수고 많으셨습니다^^화이팅!