Both the reading passage and the lecture deal with organic product. According to the reading passage, it has some disadvantages to produce organic foods. However, the points made in the article are totally contradicted by the lecturer’s claim that organic products are better than those products which are cultivated farmed by a traditional method. (수동형으로 쓰는 것 보다는 However, lecturer contradicts article’s points by claiming that ~ 처럼 능동으로 쓰는 게 좋습니다.)
To begin with, the article says that the natural pesticides which are used while producing organic products also have negative facets as like chemical pesticides do. On the contrary, the lecturer casts doubts on the reading passage’s claim by asserting that there is a magnificent (difference랑 어울리는 형용사가 아닙니다.) difference between natural pesticides and chemical pesticides. In addition, the speaker indicates that former ones stays less in our bodies time than latter ones do. in our bodies. (앞의 내용이 natural pesticides와 chemical pesticides로 복수로 썼기 때문에 뒤에 내용도 똑같이 ones로 복수로 써주세요.)
On top of that, the reading argues that natural fertilizers have a serious problem with of bacteria that can be risky to public health. This perspective is also challenged by the lecturer’s claim that there have been many steps to enhance the ability of natural fertilizers. To exemplify, it has been became possible to reduce the number of bacteria nowadays.
The last point made in the article is that the cost providing organic foods is too expensive compared to traditional way. (비교구문이 잘못 되어 있습니다. Foods와 way를 비교하는 것이 아닙니다.) The lecturer, however, contradicts his author’s point by asserting that there are numerous necessary ingredients such as vitamins and minerals in organic foods to that help our body stay healthy. Ultimately, it is worth costly to consume consuming such essential ingredients in order to have physical well-being.
Writing 0-30 Score Scale
Fair (17-23)
토플 에세이에서는 가능한 수동형 문장은 피해주세요. 비교구문을 쓰실 때에는 비교하는 대상이 명확하도록 써야 하고 문법적으로도 병치를 이룰 수 있도록 해야 합니다. 전반적인 reading과 lecture의 비교내용은 나쁘지 않은 것 같아요. 하지만 첫번째 포인트를 이야기 할 때, lecture의 내용이 pesticides가 단순히 다르다고 쓰는 것 보다는 다르기 때문에 organic foods가 나쁘지 않다고 주장하는 것이라고 쓰는 게 좀 더 좋을 것 같아요.