Ancient Egypt was a country which had not been interrupted and made cultural achievement and political stability. However, between 2200 and 2000 BC, Egypt started to grow weak, and finally collapsed. The reading passage informed several causes that lead the Egypt Empire to collapse. While the professor casts doubt at the reading and finds out several flaws in it.
The first causes that reading mentioned was that the attitude of the regional governors toward the pharaoh changed. They started to rise up to pharaoh. However, the professor says this cannot be true. Egypt Empire (use Ancient Egyptians instead of Egypt Empire) thought pharaoh was very privileged position, so every governor who had shown favorable attitude to pharaoh had a lot of benefit. So;(bad use of semicolon. Never use a semicolon after a coordinating conjunction such as “and,” “so,” and “but”. Also semicolon is mostly used to separate two man clauses and so is just conjunction not a clause.)use comma, They(refers to whom?) had no reason to revolt against pharaoh. Moreover, Egypt had a powerful army that could repress the rebellion very easily.
The second causes that reading stated was that the severe decrease in rainfall toward the end of the third millennium, and supports this idea by giving the historical documents. However, the professor urges that these documents had been misinterpreted. The decrease in rainfall had only happened in Eastern part of Egypt but there was no climate change in the other part of Egypt.
The last causes that reading urged was that the Pepi Ⅱ had stayed too long in his reign which lead the monarchy to turmoil. However, not only Pepi Ⅱ but some other kings had stayed in their reign as long as Pepi did. Plus, many fights toward the position of pharaoh had been done but it was always finished in a short period.
No many grammatical errors were found. Review rules for using semicolons. If you use pronouns, point out specifically who is referring to.