Games are as important for adults as they are for children.
*진하게 표시한 부분은 제가 파악한 문단의 주요 내용이니 참고하세요^^
Some people believe that games are harmful for everyone since they have no useful purpose in our lives and make people addicted to addictive at playing games. However, I firmly believe that games are important especially for children. This is because children can learn socialization and keep their health healthy during by playing games.
OFF TOPIC
논제가 묻는 내용을 다시 점검해주세요. 게임이 누구에게 중요한가를 묻는 것이 아니라 "게임(놀이)은 아이들뿐 아니라 어른들에게도 중요하다"정도로 해석하는 것이 적절합니다. 이 때 GAME을 단순히 컴퓨터게임 정도로만 하기보다는 좀 더 광범위하게 파악하는 것이 좋을 것 같습니다. 논제가 묻는 내용에 맞게 다시 글을 구성해보시면 좋을 것 같아요. 현재 글에서는 문법오류만 우선 체크해드리겠습니다^^
To begin with, children can be socialized become socialization through playing games. In real life, children have to learn many norms and rules norm and rule which exist in our world and communication skills. Children learn rules while playing games when they understand know that game rules which they need to follow and abide the rules them and make tactics with their friends for win the game. Therefore children naturally learn following the rules and boost their communication skills. According to a research conducted by the Ministry of Education, there are huge differences between two groups of students group in relation to their rates of socialization. Group A was consisted of students who were regularly playing games and Group B was consisted of students who were banned from playing games. The researchers monitored students students' their socialization ability. The researchers show found that Group A members had higher communication skills in their group project and followed their school policy better than Group B. On the other hand, Group B members didn’t follow the school policy and made lots of collisions collide in a group meeting to converge their ideas. This proved that playing games makes students socialized socialization better.
In addition, children keep their health by playing games. Nowadays many students spend most of their time times on studying. They often feel overwhelmed and have stressed a lot. Therefore they need needed outlets out-lets through which they can let off some steam. get stressed away. Students can relieve get stress right away while playing games. When they play games, they forget worries about study and refresh themselves. To illustrate this point, when I was a high school student, students, I often played games when I had have free time. Because Although I was always overwhelmed about my studies and had a lot of stress, . However, after playing games, I found myself refreshed. refresh and sooth my stress grade Therefore, I could keep my health and concentrate concentrated on my study better.
In conclusion, I definitely believe that games are important for adults as they are for children. The rationale behind this is that children get benefit from games game what I as I mentioned above.
주요 채점기준 (항목별 5-4-3-2-1점수로 30점 만점 자가채점)
논제 파악 effectiveness in addressing the task
적절한 설명 appropriate explanation
적절한 예증, 구체적 설명 appropriate exemplification, details
일관성, 단계적 구성, 주제와의 연관성 unity, progression, coherence
다양한 단어 구사 syntactic variety
적절한 단어 선택, 관용적 표현 word choice, idiomaticity
Writing 0–30 score scale
Limited (1–16)
논제가 묻는 내용에 대한 답변을 하지 못하면 대부분의 논리 항목에서 감점을 받기 때문에 좋은 점수를 받을 수 없습니다. 문제를 풀이하기 전에 가장 먼저 논제 내용을 '정확히' 파악하는 단계가 필요합니다. 꼼꼼하게 문제를 해석하셔서 적절한 답변을 작성할 수 있도록 신경써주세요^^ 수고 많으셨습니다. 화이팅!