▶ Your Answer : Currently, understanding the past plays key role in people's lives. Some people think that it is not necessary to understand the past to solve current or future problems, while others think differently. Both arguments may have their own reasons support their ideas to support their ideas. I believe that having thorough understandings about the past is necessary to solve the problems for the following two subsequent reasons.
First of all, understanding the past and knowing what was wrong can usher people into the right direction by teaching them precious life lessons and important values people can learn precious life lessons and important values. Some people are immature to have thorough understandings of life and are likely to be incapable of coping with problems at pivotal moments of their lives. However, learning through mistakes and understanding the wrongdoings from the past offers chances for maturation and enlightens people to become a better person allowing people to become better person. When I got a hired got hired for the first time, I made a lot of mistakes since I didn't did not (독립형 에세이에서는 줄인말을 서술하면 안됩니다) fully understand the history about this work. So I asked my boss for advises, he explained whole history about this work. Through his advises, I could gain a lot of knowledge and understandings about this work. Therefore, I think the understanding the past can be a great means of ushering people into the right direction.
Furthermore, understanding the past enables people to learn more and enhance potentials. People nowadays are living in a world of meritocracy where only extremely talented one can survive. Consequently, many people suffer from physically and mentally from tight schedules and highly competitive environments. In the long run, they cannot but miss chances to delve into numerous issues for any self-improvement. miss the opportunity of delving into numerous issues. This explains why it is better for people to understand past in honing potentials that could have been overlooked. When I was in high school, I failed into history class. By learning history, I could learn many life lessons like how to live, how to solve the problems and how to be a good leaders etc.Therefore, people are capable of improve themselves by knowing the past. improving themselves by understanding the past
As explicitly and logically elaborated above, I agree with the statement that it is necessary to understand the past to solve current or future problems believing that understandings about the past will benefit people more in the future.
점수: 23 일단 지금 이 에세이를 읽으면서 느낀 것은 전체적으로 주제를 벗어난 거 같습니다. 각 단락들의 설명이 왜 과거를 이해를 해야하는 것인지 모르겠습니다. 명확하게 자신의 주장을 전달해야하는 데 지금 이 에세이는 이러한 부분에 있어서 부족한 거 같습니다. 또한 어색한 표현들이 너무 많습니다. 제가 지적한 부분들을 숙지하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
|