▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly,
learning new things plays a significant role in people’s daily lives in many of
the places where they play or work. Some people think that it is as important
for older people to study or learn new things as it is for younger people,
while others do not think differently. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their
views. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that older people study and
learn new things like that it is for younger people. There are several reasons
as follows. for the following subsequent reasons.
To begin with, when older people
study or learn new subjects, it can contribute to an increase in their overall
happiness older people's overall happiness can be increased. Learning new things gives them a more chance to experience something
different from what they would do in their usual routine in life. A new
experience was able to prevent prevents them from feeling bored in life. For example,
when my father retired his job, he often felt depressed thinking that his life
became an exhausting routine. To survive in a competitive world, he spent a
whole his life around 25 years working in his work place. Actually, his working
place had active traits because he worked in the company of the trade. He
usually was going to abroad to trade his product of the company and was
associating with other abroad companies. After he retired his company he helped
his wife’s chores and strolling. However he has changed little by little gradually after
he started to study Germany and Japanese to take exam like SAT. Actually, these
kinds of the tests were usually taken by younger people. He was able to deal
with such pressure and stress in a safe way. When he studies Germany and
Japanese, he registers on the school such as language school. He was able to
talk with other students by using these languages. His life became an active
life. He was able to let off some steam. Without this experience, he would have
been feeling bored during his spare life.
In short, I strongly believe that the
advantages of studying new things by older people far outweigh disadvantages
for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, the importance of learning
new things for older people cannot be overestimated in life.
점수: 23 한 단락에 너무나 많은 정보를 넣으려고 하는 독립형 에세이입니다. 이러한 경향은 에세이로 하여금 플로우를 장황하게 만듭니다. 에세이가 장황하게 되면 본레 자기가 전달하려고 했던 의미들이 변질되기 때문에 제가 지적한 부분들을 숙지하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |