■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic :Life today is easier and more comfortable thn it was when your grandparents were children |
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▶ Your Answer : Some people believe that modern life is more complicated and less comfortable. There are obviously many opinions regarding this topic, but it is clear that living nowadays is more comfortable than that in the past.
Admittedly, modern life consists of many competitions and it is too stressful. This is mainly because unlike living in the past, we have to study hard and keep in adapting new technique. Nowadays, machines start to take people' place. People have to show more output in order to retain their jobs. Consequently, they have to learn more and practice to get special techniques that can not take them places. This situation will stress them out. In fact, stress is one of the primary factor of illnesses because it weakens the ability of the immune system in fighting diseases. If we were in the past, we would have rarely faced those situations. For example, my uncle, a doctor at a general hospital in a city, tells me that many of his patients suffer adverse health effect from stress. they come to him for stress-related ailments and disorders. He has found the relationship between stress and human diseases such as headaches, high blood pressure, and insomnia. In this sense, it is more unhealthful to live in modern life.
However, living (대소문자 구분) today enables us to cure some diseases that used to be incurable in the past. This is due to the fact that compared to living in the past, medical technology is quite developed enough to rescue people from inherited ailments such as lung cancer and diabetes. For example, my brother in law, when he was 40-years-old, had lung cancer. However, he had expected that he suffered as lung cancer because his father passed away by lung cancer. Since he figured out that lung cancer would be inherited by using a machine predicting people to get some diseases, he has checked his health condition every year. Eventually, he found small lung cancer in initial steps. He had a surgery to eliminate cancer and recovered his health. If the machine had existed in his father's generation, his father would have also survived. This was because my brother in law is in modern era.
On balance, some might argue that people who live in the past is more comfortable. Nevertheless, it seems to me that living in nowadays is much better. The example of health supports the argument.
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. conclusion의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
3. introduction의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
4. stance가 명확하지 않습니다.
오늘날이 더 좋다는 건가요? 아니면 과거가 더 좋다는 건가요?
두 바디가 상반된 입장을 취하고 있습니다. 이것은 매우 안 좋습니다.
한 쪽의 입장만 서술하시기 바랍니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*