■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
|
|
|
▶ Topic : Governments should pay more attention to the environment than health issues. |
|
|
▶ Your Answer :
The given topic today can be construed in a
plethora of ways. Based on my background
and personal beliefs, I strongly contend the statement for the two subsequent
reasons. Firstly, we cannot bring the environment back to normal if it is too
late. Secondly, bad environment causes bad health conditions.
To
begin with, governments should think more (비교급을 나타내줍니다) about environment than health issues
because this is more serious. Since we cannot bring it back to life once it is
too late, the environmental issues are more urgent. For example, some people
have dedicated their lives to saving the planet Earth, but in reality, their efforts
and dedication ended up being a drop in the bucket. However, we should keep
protecting the environment because thanks to their efforts, our Earth is getting better and better. When we stop saving the (대소문자 구분) environment, the Earth will go worse
and worse. Thus, the governments must pay attention to the environment before
the Earth becomes the worst. This example shows that health issues can be
exacerbated by environmental problems.
In
addition, the environment problems lead to health issues so the governments
should pay attention to the environment than health issues. When people are
exposed by scores of carbon dioxide, they will suffer from serious health
problems. To protect people from health issues, the government should care about the
environment the most. For example, when I went to China last year, the air was
so bad. I could not see anything and not breath whenever I went outside, and
everyone wore masks on. After arriving in South Korea, I went to hospital because my
eyes turned red and I got runny nose. One week later, I became better because
our country's air was good. Therefore, I thought the environment is the
most important thing for living because this is directly related to our health
problems. Consequently, it is better to care the environment, and this will
lead for people to have better health conditions.
Ultimately,
there is no right or wrong. However, the one thing that is definite is that,
with a robust claim and apropos set of evidence, anyone can acknowledge the
validity of an argument. Today, I have produced a claim about "Governments
should pay more attention to the environment than health issues" and
effectively bolstered it with the two specific reasoning. |
|
15점 만점에 점수도 매겨주시면 감사하겠습니다.
항상 감사합니다!!!!
11/15
1. 사소한 문법 오류가 많은 편입니다.
항상 꼼꼼히 검토해주세요.
2. conclusion 마지막 문장은 불필요할 것 같습니다.
앞에서 나온 내용을 summarize 해주세요. (이유들)
수고하셨습니다. *^^*