Some people believe that people are satisfied with what they have, while other people do not think so. (줄임말 사용을 지양해주세요.)
However, if I were asked to choose, I would say that people cannot be fully gratified with what they have for the two following reasons.
To begin with, people recognize what they have or what they have used inferior to what other people do have.
When we discover our talent or acquire new ability, we get( 여기서 are 이맞는건가요 get이맞는건가요? 둘 다 되지만 get이 조금 더 자연스럽습니다) very thrilled and very happy.
However, that lasts for only a temporary span and people will soon find what they have as very boring and normal.
The reason for this is, in my opinion, that people just instinctively cannot find satisfaction to what they have for a long time and there is no other reason.
For example, when I was a high school student, I always practiced Believer, which is a very difficult song for normal people to sing and made by my favorite band.
Since I thought it would be very cool if I am able to sing the song perfectly.
One day, I became able to make a very high pitched voice needed for Believer and I sang in front of my class.
I was very thrilled at that time, but it was only temporary as I found being able to sing Believer is not anymore cool after two weeks passed and there was no reason. (상당히 비합리적인 논지입니다. off-topic의 가능성이 있습니다. 왜 cool하다고 더이상 생각을 안했는지에 대한 이유가 필요합니다. ex. 친구가 한 키를 높여서 불렀다)
On top of that, we always crave for changes.
People tend to try to find changes in their life because we are a creature that get thrilled by changes. (문장부호)
This is a reason one of the reasons for why we feel fun or excited when we discover or get something new.
For example, when I was a middle school student, I lived my entire life in the city. was a someone who has lived his entire life in the city.
One day, when my parents decided to move to rural area, my whole life got changed and become pretty exciting.
I thought first it would be very tedious living in a rural area because of no high-quality services in the area, but it was quite wonderful living in the area that is surrounded by nothing but old buildings and woods.
I think the reason I got excited is not other than that it was a big change for my life.
(이것 역시 핀트가 나가있습니다. 차라리 시골로 가서 불평을 했다 -> 가진 것에 만족할 줄 모름 이런식의 전개가 더 나을 거 같스빈다.)
To sum up, people are carving for change and they think what they have is boring.
In this regards, I believe that people can't get satisfied with what they have.
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. conclusion의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
3. 문장과 문장 사이에 스페이스바를 쳐주세요. (엔터키 X)
4. very에 대한 동어반복이 잦습니다.
보다 다양한 어휘를 사용해주세요.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*