■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : agree or disagree: it is beneficial to travel foreign countries than to travel one's own. |
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▶ Your Answer :
Today (대소문자 구분) it has become very usual to see people traveling all around the world. There are some people who believe that it is better to travel to foreign countries than to travel around on their own. However, I personally disagree with the above idea for the two subsequent reasons. First, traveling abroad is way more expensive. Second, there is a chance to face language problem.
To begin with, traveling around their own country is more economical. With the rise of petrol price, traveling overseas has become very expensive. Moreover, the tickets and hotels are more expensive for travelers in many countries. Let me bring up my experience as an example. Last year, I went to New Zealand to spend my holidays. At first, I was very excited since it was my first chance to rest for a long period. However, the tickets and hotels were too expensive than I had expected. This year I went Pusan, Korea for holidays. I could relax and enjoy a lot more with less than (왜 부산이 더 비용이 적게 들었는지, 뉴질랜드가 많이 들었는지 이유를 설명해주세요. ex. plane ticket) half of what I paid for my travel to New Zealand last year. If I had known this earlier, I would never have wasted a lot of money in a foreign country.
On top of that, language troubling will occur while traveling overseas. Nobody can learn a foreign language for a short period so travelers have to go through problems of hiring a guide or translator. Not only that, those who are not used to foreign customs and culture have more difficulties if they do not know a foreign language. According a recent survey conducted by the National Travel Institutes, 80% of the respondents said that they have experienced inconvenience while traveling overseas. Especially when they had a problem with food, which they were not used to, they were not able to solve it quickly because of different language. This shows that traveling around one’s own country is much better in view of language. (그와 비교해서 자국에서는 어딜 가든 언어가 잘 통한다 이 점을 강조해주시면 좋을 거 같습니다)
To sum up, it is too overpriced to travel to a foreign country. Besides, language problem is likely to happen. In this regard, I firmly believe that traveling overseas is not recommendable. |
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무난하고 깔끔하게 잘 쓰셨습니다.
내용적으로 추가되면 플러스가 될 만한 부분들이 많이 보입니다.
최대한 구체적으로 파고드시면 좋을 거 같습니다.
그 밖의 구조나 문법 같은 것은 굉장히 좋습니다!
수고하셨습니다. *^^*