■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic :playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them. |
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▶ Your Answer :
Some people believe that playing computer games has bad influence on children. There are obviously many opinions regarding this topic, but it is clear that playing computer games gives children some profits. The concepts of stress and problem-solving skills clearly show this theme.
First of all, playing games allows children to alleviate stress. This is mainly because people today live in a competitive world. The parents force their kids to study before entering primary school in order to get a better job in the future when they grow up. Children (대소문자 구분) today are very stressed out. Playing computer games with their friends can help them relieve stress and clear their minds. This brings a solution to perplexing and stressful problems. Therefore, doing online games with their friends is one of the best and most effective ways to escape from the harsh reality. For example, my son, last month, was extremely exhausted owing to excessive homework of prior learning for primary school. Thus, he played computer games with his friends. While he enjoyed the computer games, he had a brief moment of relief from stressful studying. This was because he cooperated and ate some snacks with his friends by playing computer games.
In addition, playing online games is helpful for one's communication skills (career는 주로 직장 일과 관련되어 있을 때 쓰는 단어입니다). This is due to the fact that modern computer games are quite complicated and are required for logical processing to clear missions that are only solved by cooperating with people. If children play these computer games with people who have different ideas and personalities, they can develop problem-solving skills and communication skills. As modern society has become increasingly specialized, today's companies are looking for employees having such qualities. Therefore, playing online games is important to fight in a highly competitive job market. For instance, my father, the CEO of a company in Korea, often tells me that job interview typically precedes hiring decision. He and other interviewers at the interview look at the applicants' communication skills and problem-solving skills. Therefore, having more time to play online games with people is a sure way for people, especially children, to prepare the future.
In conclusion, many people claim that there are many shortcomings for playing computer games. Nevertheless, it seems to me that it is more beneficial for children to play online games. The examples of stress and communication skills show the argument. |
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1. 무난하게 잘 쓰신 것 같습니다.
문법, 내용, 구조 모두 깔끔합니다!
2. 단 단어마다 가지고 있는 connotation (뉘앙스)를 잘 확인해주시면 좋을 거 같습니다.
clean mind와 clear mind는 느낌이 다릅니다!
이런 사소한 차이도 중요한 것이 글쓰기이니만큼 이제부터는 이런 디테일까지도 신경써주세요!
수고하셨습니다. *^^*
수고하셨습니다. *^^*