▶ Your Answer :
It is
debatable whether the most important skill of a successful leader or politician
is good communication skills. This is an intriguing question/topic/opinion because opinions
concerning this issue can be different relying on the individual perspectives.
In my opinion, however, I support that having good communication skills is the
most important factor to be a successful leader or politician for the following
reasons.
First of all,
people who have good communication skills can be a successful leader or
politician easily because it helps them learn about building relationships. To
be specific, an ability to communicate fluently allows people to obtain others' minds and talk with others sincerely, which as a result allows the individual to learn about how
to build relationships through communicating their thoughts and connecting to
each other’s feelings. Building relationships is a great way to develop the
increasingly important social, interpersonal, and communication skills. To
illustrate, Bill Gates, who is the founder of Microsoft, has made great
accomplishments in his lifetime,. I read online that he was very successful
because he was able to build meaningful relationships as well as networks with
others. He did this with the effort to enforce his ability to communicate well.
This proves that those who want to be a successful leader or politcian needs are
better to learn good communication skills.
In addition,
it is beneficial that people have good communication skills in order to be a
proficient leader or politician because it makes them gain enough experiences to
succeed. In fact, a capacity to talk fluently creates opportunities for people
to meet various people. Eventually, they can face diverse circumstances and
increase an ability to deal with the situations,. As modern society is becoming
increasingly prone to change, today’s world requires people with adaptability.
People can do this better by accumulating their experiences. For example, when
my sister was introvert, she attended social communication group in order to
overcome herself. As a result, she could get an ability to communicate well. She
could was able to make many friends and become extrovert. Also, she got a good grade at a job
interview based on her capacities. In fact, she is a manager in personnel department
now. Through her experience, I realized that it is advantageous that people
have good communication skills to become a successful leader or politician. <(예시가 크게 good leader or politician이 되는 것과 연관성이 없어 보입니다.)
All things
considered, it is my belief that my argument has been effectively and precisely
delivered with the reasons mentioned above. Never should we forget that this
may have a huge impact on our future. <(Need improvement. conclusion은 에세이의 전체 내용을 3~4 문장으로 결론을 지으셔서 쓰시는게 좋습니다.)
Overall Score: Fair (20~23) Comment: 전체적으로 글쓰는데에 큰 문제가 없어 보입니다. 문법상 크게 틀리시는 부분도 없고 아이디어도 좋으십니다. Conclusion만 쓰는 법을 조금더 연습하시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 그 외에는 글 안에 있는 코멘트를 봐주시면 좋을 것 같습니다.
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