Some people think that grandparents'
genereation is
lived more comfortable life
than today's generation do. However, in my
opinion, I think that life is easier and
more comfortable these days than ever. This is because technology
plays a big role in our lives and people are able to access a better
transportation system.
To begin with, today, people live in
high-technology society life. Machines such as smartphones, computers or
industrial machines make our lives more convenient.
We are able to complete tasks quickly by using them these and machines are
can be alternatives to
for the works in
dangerous fields instead
of humans. For example, there was study to determine how many jobs
were related to machines. More than 50% of jobs
around the world are related to technology.
On top of that, there is a better
transportation system. In the past, to get to anothere area, people had to walk for many days or it was
too expensive to use other transportations. On the other hand, there are many
ways such as trains, airplanes, subways, buses, or cars nowadays. It helps communication between people more vibrant. For
example, in the past, it took more than one
month to get a letter from other cities or other countries. But today, most of
package and letters are delivered
sent anywhere within a week.
To sum up, developed technologies techniques
and better transportations came true to live, helping
us to live more comfortable life today.
In this regard, life today is easier and more
comfortable than it was when grandparents were
children.
Writing 0-30 Score Scale
Limited (10-17)
전반적으로 내용의 흐름이나 글쓴이의 주장을 서술하는 데 있어서는 크게 어려움이 없어 보입니다. 간결하게 글쓴이의 의견을 표현하는 점 도 좋아요. 하지만 문법적인 오류가 많아서 글의 내용이 clear하게 다가오지 않습니다. 문장의 가장 기본구성요소가 되는 주어와 동사 등에 주의를 기울이면서 틀린 문장들을 수정해 보시면 좋을 것 같아요. 그리고 내용적인 측면에서도 글쓴이가 제시한 예시가 어떻게 글쓴이의 의견을 support하는지 조금 더 부가 설명을 덧붙여보면 좋을 것 같습니다.
수고하셨습니다.