An intriguing topic of discussion at hand is whether games can teach us valuable lessons about life. The answer to this question can vary greatly depending on the individual perspectives. Thus, the jury may still be out, but as far as I am concerned, I disagree with the statement. In this essay, I will present two reasons supporting my standpoint as follows.
First and foremost, a series of games are so addictive that ordinary people may have a difficulty quitting to get out from them. According to the research conducted by The Institute of Human Acting Research of Korea in 2011, there are 35 percent of people, who cannot stop their games even though they have other fish to try. Also, 14 percent of them referred above have problems in decision making process to make decision. What does this mean? Though no one denies that numerous games render an individual a positive effect on their lives, before they get affirmative lessons concerning life, addiction will catch them not to act as normal people. Additionally, even if they catch up the remarkable lessons from the games, they cannot realize the lessons in their lives because they are already so engrossed in their game that they will not move to change.
On top of that, it is more justifiable to contend that significant lessons in life can be earned outside, not inside. and by the games. Some companies argue that their games that are released recently now are effective in educating to educate people to and learn several knowledge that can be used using in life. However, most lessons came down from the olds er can heard from them in person. Take the example from Japanese craftsmen. They always perform just as perfect, but their crafts are conveyed to only a mere handful of students who want to learn how to make. The structure of knowledge dispersed in today’s society has have been different from the past in which when only a few people shared the valuable know-how. Nonetheless, various expertises are only shared limited people. (문장의 의미전달이 확실하지가 않아요. 문장간의 transition이 잘 안됩니다) It means that we can barely acquire barely general knowledge that everybody knows from the games. Therefore, games teach us some “lessons” not notable to learn spending one’s time.
In conclusion, I strongly argue my standpoint with two reasons mentioned above. Once again, although the verdict may still be out, I personally believe that two of my rationales above are sufficiently convincing enough to represent the viewpoint of people who are in favor of my claim.
제가 생각하기엔 전체적인 에세이에서 글쓴이의 point of view 가 잘 나타나 있거나 support 된 것 같지가 않아요. 두번째 이유를 특히나 잘 보고 고쳐주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. Japanese craftsmen에 대한 예시가 의견을 잘 support 하지 못하는 것 같아요. 그 외에는 문법적으로 큰 문제는 없지만 그래도 다시한번 proof reading을 하면서 중간에 틀린 부분을 조금씩 수정 해 주시면 좋을 것 같아요. 수고하셨습니다 ^^ |