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In the reading passage there
is ample support for the author's claim that the amazon was once home for developed and massive civilization
is highly unacceptable. (문법상 이러한 전개가 더 자연스럽습니다. 단어 스펠링도 고쳤습니다.) it is highly unaccepatble, amazon once home for deveolped and
massive civilazation. However, the professor in the lecture
gives several reasons as a rebuttals to the author's point.
First, the professor contends that despite of
the enormous amount of vegetation in the jungle, there were an advanced
civilization. According to the satellite image, well-grouped roads and even
canals were founded. Moreover, a number of towns were seen in the image. This casts doubt on the
reading passage's claim that the concentrated jungle's vegetations will
prevent the interactions between tribes that worsen the development of the cilvilization
civilization.
Next, the professor insists that not only the
unsophisticated objects were found but also the sophicated sophisticated ones.
Potteries and ceramic vessels which demands high-craftsmanship were excavated
along the mouth of the Amazon. (Amazon은 capital letter로 시작해주시고, river은 생략해주시는 게 더 자연스럽습니다.) These artifacts are only available in the well-developed society
societies. This counters the reading passage's assertion that there were no
remains that were crafted with the progressed technology, which means there
were no progressed civilization.
Finally, the professor aregues argues that the amazon
rainforest were too spacious for the European expeditors to discover the
high-tech remains. Likewise, in Cambodia, the well-constructed temple which is located at the center of
a jungle were was hardly founded difficultly over a long
period. This says that the expeditors may have not found the remains which
actually exists. This refutes the reading passage's suggestion that the
expeditors for Europe only found small dwellings scatterd scattered around the
region, which said that there were no manifestation for the large civilization.
Writing Score Scale
Fair (19~21)
Overall Comments: 포인트는 잘 잡아주셨지만,
문법 및 스펠링 오류가 너무 많습니다.
하고 싶어하는 말이 뭔지 보이긴 하지만 문법이 맞지가 않아서 흐름이 끊기는 모습이 보입니다.