▶ Your Answer : Some people might think that TV should be used to instruct people rather than to entertain them. However, I personally disagree with the above idea for the two subsequent reasons. First, people's real purpose of watching TV is for entertaining. Second, people cannot relieve their stress if TV only shows instruct contents. (이미 밑에서 이유들을 다 설명을 할 것이기 때문에 인트로를 장황하게 서술할 필요가 없습니다)
To begin with, most of people seek TV in order to gain some entertaining things. If there are only instructive contents in the TV, people unlikely to turn on the TV intentionally. Actually, a large amount of educational contents are around people already such as Internet web sites, or smart applications are seen in other devices such as internet and smart application. In my case, I usually gain knowledge through YouTube. There are already a lot of good quality of video. Personally I think, although TV enlarges their contents of educational channels, it will until have lacks than the great amount of information on websites. In other words, it has no advantages. in terms of providing good educational elements
On top of that, TV has been used for the instrument of relieving stress to relieve stress. People nowadays have a lot of pressure in the complex society. Actually, many people rely on the watching TV to relieve their stress, because it requires no money, time, and also people do not have to go outside. In this condition, if TV reduce reduces (TV는 단수 주어 입니다) their entertaining contents, people will lose their means of relieving stress. According to the survey conducted by 64D institution, 78% of people watch TV while they rest. Moreover, a major program they watch is drama and comedy show, not documentary. This result shows that what people want to TV is mostly just entertaining.
To sum up, entertaining contents are more appealing for people. Moreover, instruct contents will give people a lot of stress. In these regards, I firmly believe that TV should be used for entertain rather than instruct.
점수: 22 일단 지금 이 에세이를 읽으면서 느낀 것은 왜 티비가 교육적인 것 보다는 예능쪽이 더 좋지 라는 의문이 들었습니다. 이러한 의문이 들은 가장 전반적인 이유는 각 단락에서 왜 재미를 주는 것에 대한 장점에 대해서 중점을 많이 두지 않는 거 같습니다. 중점을 두지 않다 보니 정확하게 이 에세이가 뭘 의미하는 것인지 파악하기가 어려웠습니다. 따라서 이러한 부분들을 숙지하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셧습니다.
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