■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic :Your job has a bigger impact on your happiness rather than your social life. Do you agree or disagree? Agree |
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▶ Your Answer : Those who disagree Some people might say that your job has a bigger impact on your social life rather than your happiness. However, in my opinion, it is better to impact on your happiness than your social life.
Firstly, the job is the best way to save money. having a lucrative job means that you will have a better quality of life. If you are short of money. it will be challenging to carry on with your social life. To be specific, in this materialistic society, money is sometimes regarded as one's power. If you have no money, you will be ignored by people. In the worst scenarios, there will be no place to stand in this society. You cannot deny the fact that other pleasures of life will be filled by having enough money to spare. For instance, I often worked in my profession to save money. As a result, I began to enjoy working and saving money. I even found out that saving money is made me feel achievement. Likewise, people will be able to understand the importance of jobs by working in their professions. In this sense, the job has more effect on your happiness.
Second, we have a joyful experience through the job. To explain, I believe experience is one of the most essential factors of success in this world. Imagine people only have textbook knowledge . Their views will be so narrow. By having a job, they can not only gain diverse experiences but also broaden their horizon of the world. To give an anecdote, I did not want to have a career when I was high school student. I think that if I had a job, I would not be happy because I had to do many works. However, my school teacher recommended me to have an employment training and gave me advice on being a worker. As a result, I actually found out that I felt a delight by working at the employment training. Likewise, people will be able to have a good experience through their job. In this sense, the job has an effect on your happiness.
In summary, having a job would gain a good experience and save money. In this regard, I firmly believe that the job has more effect on our happiness for the reasons I mentioned above.
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. conclusion의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
3. introduction의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
4. 철자 오류가 잦은 편입니다. 심한 감점의 요인이 될 수 있으니, 에세이 작성을 마치시고 꼼꼼히 검토해주세요.
+) 단어를 외우실 때 스펠링을 집중적으로 외워주세요.
5. 지금은 job이 happiness에 끼치는 영향만 서술하셨지만
에세이 토픽은 엄연히 두 가지 옵션을 비교하는 것이므로
왜 job이 social life에는 영향을 덜 끼치는지도 서술해주세요.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*