통합형 에세이 써봤어요, 첨삭해주세용~
기쁜 마음으로 충고 받아들이겠습니다!
내용은 대강 이러합니다 : 제재는 direct recording electronic(DRE) voting system 이구요, reading passage는 이것의 장점을 열거하고 lecture는 이것의 단점을 말하고 있습니다. 자세한 건 에세이를 봐주세요!
The reading passage talks about how advantageous direct recording electronic(DRE) voting system can be. However, the speaker contradicts the reading by arguing that the computerized system has more demerits than merits.
To begin with, while the reading passage argues that the DRE voting system is so convenient that that it can not only increase citizen's participation in voting but also prevent wasted ballot, the speaker actually points out that the system is not easy to activate. He indicates that according to a recent vote, one-fifth of the voters needed help on working out the system, having to risk the danger of their privacy be interrupted, leaving the 'secret' vote to not be secret.
On the top of that, the speaker casts doubt on the reading that the computerized system lets the vote counting and even the recounting proccess be finished in just few minutes, making the system fast and effecient. The speaker's main reason lies on the fact that the system cannot double check the results. He indicates that even if problems such as machine failure occur, no recounting is possible. Therefore, he adds that re-voting, a method that eats up so much time and money, is the only way to get the proper results in that case.
Furthermore, the lecturer denies the reading which maintains that the the DRE voting system shows creditable result and transparency because it casts pictures and information of the all the candidates on the voting screen, allowing the voters to clearly understand who they're voting for. He argues that average citizen don't fully rely on the computerized system because it's not transparent. This is because voters aren't able to see whether they are voting right or whether the system is activating properly.
읽어주셔서 감사합니다~