Some items (such as clothes or furniture) can be made by hand or by machine. Which do you prefer - items made by hand or items made by machine? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your choice.
Some people prefer to have items which are made by hand. However, I prefer to have items which are made by machine because I can exchange product when the product has a flaw. Also, items which are made by machine are cheaper than items which are made by hand.
I would like to buy items which are made by machines. 필요없음 The reason is that if I want to change my cloth [cloth는 옷이 아니라 천입니다.] or furniture because they have a flaw or defect, I can change them which are same thing identical. If I buy handmade goods, I cannot change my product even if it has a fault. Handmade products are all different each other. Therefore I cannot find exactly same goods ones. Also, items which are made by machines have after service. Therefore, it is easy that item which have flaw change to new one which are exactly same thing. [예를 들어주심으로써 더 튼튼한 이유가 될수있죠]
In addition, buying products which are made by hand saves my money. Usually, handmade goods are expensive because it takes a long time to be made.
In contrast, items which are made by machine are cheaper than handmade [손으로 만든것보다 싸다는것을 전제하에 말하고 있습니다 그러므로 다시말할필요가없죠] commodities because the items are mass production produced in mass. Specifically, you may be able to know to see a suit made to measure. 통역불가, 만약 "맞춤정장을 봄으로서 알수있다" 라고 쓰신거면 틀렸구요 그냥 간단하게 "맞춤정장을 예로 들어서....For instance, fit-made suits are expensive...." 쓰시면 되는데 구지 일부러 말을 꼬아서 점수를 깎는 행동은 필요없다고봐요. It is expensive because it is specially made cloth for one person. However, ready-made manufactured cloth is much cheaper because a lot of people consume it.아까 mass production 얘기 하셨으니깐 여기에다가 넣으시면 되구요.
For this reason [이유가 2개가 있었는데 단수형입니다], there is no doubt in my mind that buying items which are made by machine is good[여기선 better같이 다른것을 비교하는 동사를 써야합니다. 그리고 good은... 너무 기본적인 단어기 때문에 좀 심심하구요 effective/preferable] because it save my money. In addition, I can change my goods when they have some problem. Therefore, if you have a plan to buy items, I personally recommend that buying items which are made by machine is better.
두번이나 제가 튜터님이 아닌것에 대해서는 죄송하구요.
필요없는말들을 너무 많이 쓰셧네요. Repetitive 한 문장들은 독자로서 읽기에 짜증납니다.
문법/표현력이 상당히 모자르구요. 보니깐 기본적인 표현은 하실줄 아시지만 조금 표현이 복잡해지면 표현을 잘 못하시는것 같습니다. 아무래도 내일모레 시험이니깐 제일 실용적이게 말씀드리자면, 간단하고 맞게 쓰는게 complex 하고 못쓰는것보단 점수를 훨신 잘받습니다. 써나가실때 읽기에 편하게 쓰세요, 그말은 즉 쓸때도 그냥 편하고 간단하게 쓰시라는거에요. 토플 라이팅은 29-30을 노리지 않는이상 자기의견을 논리있고 간단하게만 설명하면, 당연히 문법은 최소한으로 틀리는 가정하에, 점수받기는 굉장히 쉽다고 생각합니다. 그러니깐 쉽게 쉽게 쓰세요. 시험잘보세요 ^^