Awarness of eudcation has rised tremendously compare to pasts. ← 아닙니다. 중요해지고 있는 것이 아니라 이미 너무나도 중요한 것이 되어버렸습니다.
Education is requisite (necessary).
Competition for admission to the college is very keen. 대학입학 경쟁이 아주 치열하다.
Many people attend univeristies and colleges these days. They all seek different reasons. Some of them are attending because they must do, and
some attend seeking for deeper knowlege in their study of field ←
some attend college to gain (obtain) knowledge.
First of all, sometimes we come to face choices where that it is those are not so favorable. Attending to a univeristy is not an exc aption. Today, we live in a society where the education has become must have ← 어떤 구조인지..? thing in order to have a job. For example, in our country there are people who are com epeting for part time jobs, yet they are having going through hard time because they do not have the post secondary educational background. Our society demands more and more out of highly educated people. Recruting the best, regardless of what kind of job is natrual for employ. In order to meet some of the standards they have put out, some people do not have a choice, but to attend univeristy.
Secondly, often students desire deeper knowlege in their area of study. Highschool, dose not provide professional education. Highschool has its limitation, to due to broad area of studying. Despite of highschool's limitation, univeristy and college can provide specific knowelge. In my personal experience, my major is english. I can speak and write as well as anyone. I however, attend univeristy to gain knowelege to how to teach others. In addition to that, university staffs, professors are professional in their area of study. The depth of information we can learn is not compareable to highschool
To conclude, everyone has different reasons to attend univeristy. Everyone has their own desire and goals. we would all unify that in broad reason of attending univerisy is to due to soceity making us to attend and gain a further knowlelge. In my opinion the two reaons I mentioned above will be the part of everyone's reason to attend post-secondary education.
이걸 어떻게 얘기를 해드려야 할지 모르겠네요
우선 철자에서 오타가 많이 났고요
그리고 문장의 엔진이라 할 수 있는 동사의 쓰임이 정리가 안되어 있고요
전치사의 쓰임에도 문제가 적지 않습니다.
이 정도의 오류라면 문법을 많이 따지지 않는 시험관도 감점을 많이 할 것 같다는 의견이고요
내용면에서도 더 명확한 이유를 찾아야 할 것 같습니다.
생각을 다시 하고 쓰셨다니 격려를 해야하는데
냉정하게 위의 글만 보고 판단한다면 더 깊이 들어가야 합니다.
저가 글을 써도 당연히 어떤 특별한 말이 나오지는 않겠으나
세번째 문단에서처럼 대학은 근무자나 교수들이 전문적이다.
나는 대학에 다른 사람을 가르치려고 간다.
위의 문장들은 설명이 필요합니다.
나는 대학에 가서 공부한다, 어떻게 가르치는지를 배우려고, 그래서 무엇을 한다.
쉽게 말하면 설명을 하지 말고, 마치 그림을 보고 있는듯 설명을 해줘야 한다는 것입니다.
같은 설명 다시 한 번 한다면
이 물건 좋아요, 새로 왔고요, 유명하고요, 재료가 좋아요, 누가 선전해요,
이 물건 신제품인데, 어떤 재료 썼고요, 어떤 효과가 있어요, 어디에 좋고요, 이래서 좋아요
위의 두 형태의 문장에서처럼
독자가 정확하게 알 수 있도록 그림을 그려주는 훈련을 해야 합니다.
외대 통번역을 가르치는 교수님도 그런 말씀을 하신적 있고요
그런 맥락에서 영어권에서는 writing 을 쓸 때 처음에 5가지 형태가 있는데요
그 중에 한 가지가 description 입니다. '묘사' 가 되겠네요
글 보니 님 English 배우셨다고 했는데, 자료를 찾기가 수월하실 겁니다.
힘드실겁니다.
단순한 한 장짜리 paper 쓰는것도 시간이 참으로 오래 걸립니다.
3자에게 글로 그림을 그려주자, 그러기 위해서는 쉽게 쓰자
A 는 B 이다, 그래서 C 가 필요하다 (있다), C 는 어떤 역할을 한다.
라는 아주 초간단 형태의 문장으로 쓰기를 권장합니다.
오히려 그게 점수가 더 높을겁니다. (내용만 전달해도 말입니다)
예문을 하나 드려봅니다.
College is a place that students can learn more and new knowledge and experience in it. Of course, different people have different reason to study in a college. For example, some people want to be to go on a further study after they graduate from a college; some people hope to find a good job after their studying in a college and also some people wish to exchange their present situation through studying in a college. In my opinion, no matter what reason people study in a college for, studying in a college is just a preparation for their future’ life.
First of all, students can learn new knowledge and experiences from the studying in the college. There are many teachers, professors with abundant teaching experience who teach students lots of new knowledge and help them to solve the problems in their study. With their help, student can learn a lot of useful basic and professional knowledge which is very helpful for their future’ work. and study. After they finish their study in the college, students go to work in the society and contribute to the different fields.
Second, students can learn how to arrange their own time reasonably. Before their studying in college, their life often arranged by their parents and their study often arranged by their teachers. It is very different for them to live and study in college, because students studying in college have to arrange their life and study by themselves. They have right to arrange their part time, such as when to get up, when is the sport-time, when to finish the assignment etc. This is very important experience for students’ work and life in the future.
Third, studying in the college make students having opportunity to live with other student and learn how to cooperate with other people. Usually, people often have uncomfortable feeling to live with a stranger, because they do not know each other and perhaps their habit and personality are different. But for the long run, it is good for them. They have to cooperate with each other and solve a lot of problems they will face together. Gradually, they can learn how to care and understand other people. It is a preparation for students to go to cooperate with other people in the society.
All in all, students not only can learn lots of new knowledge from the books but also can learn much more necessary experience such as how to arrange time and how to cooperate with other people. It is ver important for their future’ wok and life.
혹시 어려운 단어나 구조가 있었나요..?
아마 중학생만 되어도 다 알만한 단어들이지요
구조도 다들 쉬워서 공부 조금만 해도 다 알 수 있는 것들이지요
읽으면서 내용 자체도 너무나 빤~히 아는 것들이지요
머릿속에서 그렇지.. 그렇지.. 당연히 그래야지... 라는 내용들이지요
누가 읽어도 이해할 수 있겠지요
위 글이 6.0 만점에 6.0 짜리 paper 입니다.
힘내세요
참~ 위 글에서 오류도 찾아보세요, 재미있을겁니다 ^ ^