I agree that being happy with a job is more important than having a high salary. Some people may say that the high salary could compensate for enough other hard parts in the workplace. However, being happy and fun with a job makes employees more productive. Also if the workers do not adapt properly, they will easily give up their jobs.
First of all, being happy and fun with a job makes employees more productive. Most employees are not an the owner of company. Thus, they need do not have a the responsibility for of the company`s future. To improve their productivity, company will give their employees to pleasure with a job. In fact, many businesses tried to provide their workers with pleasure during working hours. For example, some company introduced a system which elected a smile man every month who makes more fun workplaces. Surprisingly, these company could raise 10% of employee productivity rather than last year`s that. >>단순히 어떻게 해야 생산성을 높일수 있나에 대한 예제같아요. 봉급이 높은 것과 일의 재미 두가지를 비교해서 써주세요 :) 문법오류 안고쳤어요~
Second, if the workers do not adapt properly, they easily give up their jobs. Anyone who entered a company wants to adapt to their workplace. Of course, high salary and less time working hours are important elements to attract employees. However, more important thing is adaptation in the workplace. When I was entered a trade company , the workplace was the first working place. I try to adapt a working environment. However, a lot of works and overtime working made me exhausted. Consequently, I did not have interest in my job. I give up a job after one year entering the company.
이 문단은 "일의 만족도에 있어 적응도가 중요하게 작용한다." 는 주제와 맞아요 ㅜㅜ
In conclusion, I agree that being happy with a job is more important than having a high salary. It is because being happy and fun with a job makes employees more productive. Also if the workers do not adapt properly, they easily give up their jobs.
>>intro/conclusion은 괜찮은데 바디1,2가 오프토픽이 되어버렸네요. high salary와 비교해서 써주시면 더 좋을것 같아요.
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