Instead of buying a piece of jewelry, I would like to buy a ticket to a concert that I want to attend. To me, it sounds like going to a concert is better than buying a piece of jewerly. The preference for going to a concert is natural for my age and they Concert will be in your memories forever while jewerly will not. These are the main two points why I would prefer concerts over jewerly.
Concert is a stage that singers perform in an interacting way with the audience unlike in the television. You can also see your favorite singers infront of you singing and dancing, which will be like a dream to all fans. People value those chances to see singers right infront of them. Of course, as a teenager, I would also like to see singers that I like than having have a piece of jewerly around my neck. Teenagers like to talk about singers and everyone will of course definitely like to see them. If you really actually had the chance to go to a concert, everyone will be jealous, which shows showing us that people like going to concerts.
Going to concert will be in your memory forever. On the other hand, you will soon get over the piece of jewerly you bought because you will slowly think that it is old, and also you might get new ones and get over with the old ones. be tired of the piece of jewerly you bought and will want a new one due to quickly changing trends. Making memory sounds more exciting than looking rich by having jewerly for me. I believe that most of the teenagers will agree with what I say about concert being better than jewerly. =>>밑줄친부분은 인트로오ㅏ 바디 1에 있는 내용과 너무 중복 되요. 기억에 오래남는 다는 것에 대한 내용은 오히려 컨클루에 있는 부분인거 같아요. 두문장 교환하는게 더 어울릴듯해요-
Concert will live in your memories forever and give you the chance to meet you favorite singers out of television. It will be a fun and exciting thing for a fan but jewerly is something you see everyday on people's neck, wrists, and fingers. It is common unlike seeing singers infront of you with your two eyes. These are the reason why I prefer concerts over jewerly, and if I really had a chance to choose between jewerly and concert, it would be concert right away. |