▶ Your Answer :
It is of great worth to discuss whether or not teacher should update their knowledge by constant duration. While some people might agree with this statement, others might disagree with it. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the notion because People can not remember something forever ,and they would not able to answer the question of students. for the following two subsequent reasons (이미 밑에서 이유들을 다 설명을 할 것이기 때문에 굳이 인트로에서 장황하게 서술할 필요가 없습니다)
First of all, People's people's (문장 시작하는 부분만 대문자로 서술하시길 바랍니다) memorize memory (memorize는 동사 입니다 명사가 아닙니다) is not infinite. Human's brain can not contain mass information, so brain erases old memories and rewrite latest memories. According to a experiments conducted by Korea Brain Lab, as time goes by, saved data are declined exponentially. However, If you review many times, you can save 90% of memorizes compared to initial one people review many times, people can save 90% of memory in comparison to the initial ones (독립형 에세이에서는 you를 서술하면 안됩니다). This indicates that people have to update their memorizes memories.
Moreover, Teacher may not be able to answer the student's question immediately. (이유에 대한 섦명을 구체적으로 서술하신 후에 예시로 넘어가시길 바랍니다) For example, When I was High school student, One of my classmate questioned teacher some mathematics problems. However, Teacher could not able to solve the problem, and he missed trust. After that situation, many classmates ignored teacher's class and they started to self-directed study. Therefore, teachers should study for protecting student's trust.
To summarize, I strongly agree that teachers have to update their information because of the reasons mentioned above.
점수: 21 일단 지금 이 에세이는 전체적으로 내용에 있어서 많은 빈약한 모습이 많이 보여집니다. 지금 이 에세이에서 가장 필요한 것은 구제척으로 자신의 주장을 잘 설명하는 것 입니다. 지금 이 에세이의 모습을 보면 이러한 부분들이 많이 부족합니다. 따라서 구체적으로 본인의 주장을 나타내시길 바랍니다. 또한 가장 지적하고 싶은 부분은 대문자는 항상 문장 시작할 때만 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |