▶ Your Answer :
There is a famous Korean saying “The best way to learn is to experience.” This is a common saying that I have heard it throughout my life from my grandfather. He wanted me to know that a direct experience directly experiencing would be more beneficial for me to learn some useful lessons. Therefore, I believe that parents should let children make mistake and let them learn from their own mistake for the following reasons: stress and time-efficiency. To begin with, learning by from their own mistake is less stressful for children. If children realize their own mistake and learn from it through their experience, they would not be stressed. However, but if parents keep trying to teach children and punish them, it would be a huge stress for them. For example, when I was young, my parents tried to let me learn from my mistake. Therefore, I was able to do what I wanted to, (What was that?) and after I made did some mistake I was able to recognize it and regret about it. That progress was not that stressful for me. However my friend Tom’s parents always tried to teach pushed Tom not to make a single mistake and there were too much restrictions on was too many restrict for him. Tom was so stressed out about their parents who keep interfering him. Through that experience I thought that I was very lucky to have a better education which was less stressful for me. Therefore not to make their children stressed, (What does it mean?) parents should let children make mistake and let them learn from their own mistake. Furthermore, the lessons that children learned from their mistake last longer. If we learn by the our own experience, that lesson would last longer than learning from other people so it is a more time-efficient way. For example, when I was a five years old, I jumped into the water pool without checking the depth of the pool. The pool was deeper than my length height and I was in a dangerous situation. After that experience, I never go into the water before checking the depth of it since I became an adult. However, I forgot most of the lesson I learned from the book and school. for example, such as what I have to be careful before I go into the water. In my personal experience, learning from my on mistake usually last longer than learning from others. Therefore it is more time-efficient for children to let themselves learn from their own mistake. In conclusion, parents should let their children make mistake and learn lesson from their own mistake. Some says, it is dangerous to let children make a mistake, however, children would not recognize how dangerous it is (What is dangerous?) before they actually experience it.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 3 | 3
| 3 | 3 | Score | Fair 18-23 |
- 다른 긴 문장이 시작되는 경우 끊고 새로 시작해주시는 것이 장황한 글이 되지 않도록 도와줄 수 있습니다.
- tried to teach --> 반복되는 문장 paraphrase가 필요합니다. - time-efficient 라는 관점과 오래지속되는 것과의 상관관계를 높여주셔야 합니다. - 두 번째 예시에서 그만큼 자신의 경험이 impressive하다는 점을 한번 더 강조해주시는 것이 좋겠습니다.
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